Need toilet paper? Eat some corn on the cob

We've been having some interesting discussions in my family lately. And my favorite topic  has definitely been what to do when you run out of toilet paper.

"In the south, we used corn cobs," my mother-in-law said.

That was cool. 

My husband and I looked at each other. "Not bad," I said. "Good texture for reaching nooks and crannies. Soft. A butt brush! Pretty genius."

My father-in-law had a different plan.

"Here's what you do: cut up sh#t rags," he said, explaining that he's got a supply all ready to go in the garage. He even texted me a photo of one of the rags.

"But what are you going to do with them afterward?" I asked. "You can't flush them. Do you have a bucket set up to put them in? And wait -- does your wife know about this plan?! What does she think of it?"

He didn't answer. Then my husband chimed in.

"No dad, there's a far more elegant solution: They call it Sh#t, Shower and Shave. You take a sh#t, then you get in the shower."

There was silence on the phone.

"I never thought of that!" my father-in-law replied finally. "I gotta go ... take a shower!"