Best thing I ever found in someone’s bathroom? A guestbook.

The first time I visited my father-in-law’s house, I found something surprising in his bathroom: A guestbook.

And I loved the idea of asking people to sign in while using the toilet so much that I soon bought a guestbook for my bathroom.

That was cool. 

Because over the next 25 years, that silly book collected some great memories for me, taking snapshots of people that a camera can’t capture. 

Photographs are great for recording faces, but if you want to record someone’s personality, ask them to write something. And if you want a real picture of someone's personality, I say have them write in the bathroom, where things are already getting real.

“Thank God I used it before Chris!” one family member wrote to tease another about the smells he leaves behind, while a Texan I knew in Washington State wrote proudly about his work on the toilet: “Had to vacate some Texas waste, hoping to give your house a distinctive Texas feel.”

And how did my father-in-law first decide to put his guestbook in the bathroom?

“I thought having someone sign a book that sat on a table was too much of a cliché, and that they would probably sign it on their own if they saw it while they sat on the toilet,” said Ruben, recalling that his wife at the time told him, “That’s stupid. No one’s going to sign it."

But he did put it in the bathroom and people did sign it, though not always in the ways Ruben would have liked.

“I wanted it to be in chronological order, but my sister once signed a page well out of order,” he said, recalling with even more consternation a time when one of the neighborhood kids signed his name as Clark Cable. “I told my son, tell him to get it right — it’s Gable!”

Ruben had used a standard guestbook not intended for the bathroom, but I found one online that was: Called “The Bathroom Guest Book,” it features fun facts called “privia,” and boxes for you to check off the tasks you accomplished.

I’m a bit embarrassed now to see how many of the entries were written by me — describing visits I made, my cat made, and one made by the only guest I recall flat-out refusing to leave his signature — and how many guests wrote that they only signed the book under duress. 

But I’m grateful for every entry, and most make me smile. Especially the one written by a longtime friend who was visiting me in Seattle with her first child.

“Great Play-doh,” Mechele wrote on behalf of her three-year-old son, who is now 23 and recently graduated from UCLA. But whenever I read that entry, I see the toddler we took to the Seattle Aquarium who waved at a scuba diver in one of the exhibits and was so excited when the man waved back that long afterward he would ask his mom, “When are we going back to Seattle see my diver again?!”

What I’m most grateful for though, are the entries that are a bit sad, written by people who are no longer in my life: One person died, others drifted away, and others will no longer speak to me. But I will always have their words in my book, and only wish now that I didn’t pack the book away for so many years when we left Seattle to return to California, because there are far too many signatures from loved ones and friends I missed.

So I’m glad I finally took the book out again this month and started collecting memories near the toilet once more, even though I had to convince half my guests to sign it.

Of the four recent visitors, the two women happily signed the book without being asked, while the two men had to be prodded. But I don’t care if signatures are voluntary; in fact, one of those reluctant signatures is my new favorite entry.

“I got caught in a white lie,” wrote one family member, because when told me he hadn’t noticed the book before being asked to sign it I said, “Oh, is that why I found your sunglasses in it?!”

So now that I have another entry to make me smile, I plan to never pack that book away again.

My Grandmother's Journals: August, 1998

Grandma in China in 1988.

Welcome to the daily life of a frugal, persnickety, and extremely independent woman in her 80s: Every day my grandmother wrote down when she woke, what she had for breakfast, any movie she went to see, any mail and calls she received, then what she read and watched on TV before bed.

 

In 1998, she turned 83 while living alone in a mobile home park in Santa Cruz, Calif., but I wouldn't describe her as lonely. In fact, I never knew her to live with another person or even a pet after she raised my mother as a single mother in Los Angeles in the 1940s and 50s. (I wrote more about her life in this post.) 

She lived close to the famous surfing spot Pleasure Point, and nearly every day she walked to those cliffs to watch the ocean and anyone surfing it. 

When she died at 97 in 2013, I took her ashes to those waves with one of her friends, and we each dropped some ashes at the sand. A moment after I dropped mine, a surfer emerged from the water where I stood. 

That was cool. 

In August of 1998, my grandmother tried Apple Jacks and quickly went back to Corn Flakes, was admiring the new stairs her next-door neighbor had built for him, and learned her cholesterol was far too high – from eating too much fast food, no doubt!

July entries.

Saturday, Aug. 1, 1998

Awake 8:30. Usual.

Walked on East Cliff. Still foggy.

To Longs. Woman did not know how to work BP machine.

To Rite Aid, no single blades.

41st donut. No crumb or plain.

Orchard had blades.

Tennis 1 p.m. “Mercedes Benz.”

Bed, read a bit.

 

Sunday, Aug. 2, 1998

Up 7:30. Breakfast, shower/hair.

Longs, BP. Got stamps, more pads.

To bank for balance.

To show, “Smoke Signals.” Liked it.

Home, fixed lunch. Justine called, said she on way down.

J arrived 2:30 p.m., talked. To show again.

Bit later, she got pissed at Pizza My Heart. Left about 6:30 p.m.

TV: Tennis, Dateline: Surfers at Waimea, Mavericks. 50 foot waves. Mark Foo died.

 

Monday, Aug. 3, 1998

Social Security paid on 2nd?

Awake early, slept good.

Usual breakfast, called for 401K brochure.

Drug Emporium BP, Trader Joe’s, food.

41st donut.

Home, tennis. Very hot. 

Worked on pictures, also slides in bottom  drawer, most of day.  

Cooled off at six, breeze.

TV: AMC, The 5 Million Year Earth.

Tuesday, Aug. 4, 1998

Slept 11:30 to 4:30 a.m. 5 hours! 

Ate Apple Jacks. Not as good as flakes.

Sorted purses in box. Put airplane pullover in small bag. 

Longs, BP good.

Coffee at mall. Drug Emporium for TV Guide.

Home, workers in street. Fix drain or gutter?

Mail: Bill from Sears, State Farm.

Stayed in all day. Did nothing. Papers, etc.

Wednesday, Aug. 5, 1998

Awake 6:45, up 8.

Worked in yard til 9:10. Dumped pansies, heat too much.

Kmart: Ate breakfast, bought petunias.

Home, put flowers in pot, cleaned top of cabinet.

12 p.m. news. Wrote Carla, Justine (sent article).

To Live Oak. Vivienne there, she moved to my table. She went to lecture at Capitola Book by Peter Coyote, he signed her book. 

Home, read papers.

TV: News, Patriot Games.

Thursday, Aug. 6, 1998

Not good sleep. Usual breakfast.

Rite-Aid for trail mix, McDonald’s for coffee.

To show, “Parent Trap.” Sorta good.

To Wendy’s, children. Sitters?

TV: Geraldo, Law & Order, Morse. Taped “Breach of Conduct,” Peter Coyote.

Bed, better sleep.

 

Friday, Aug. 7, 1998

Awake 8:30. Usual.

Walked on cliff, then Longs. Got three boxes of Corn Flakes.

Home. Some washing, ironing, some tennis.

Ran tape of “Breach of Conduct.” 

Mail: Brochure from government: “Consumer Info.”

TV: News, Poirot, Midsomer Murders.

Slept deep 11:45 to 12:30, not good sleep after.

Saturday, Aug. 8, 1998

To Longs, more Corn Flakes, fanny pack.

Walked on cliff.

Home noon but tennis delayed by auto race.

Ironed, watched TV: News, part of “Sunset Grill,” part of “The Shadow.”

Sunday, Aug. 9, 1998

Watered, fertilized lawn.

Showered/hair.

To show, “Cousin Bette.” Not great. Many outdoor shots at Musee Carnavalet.

Home, lunch. Worked on Larry’s pictures til 6 p.m.

TV: 60 Minutes, Toni Morrison; Siskel & Ebert, X-Files.

 

Monday, Aug. 10, 1998 

Awakened 5:15 by noise. Heavy equipment being delivered?

Longs, Xerox, BP. Good.

Coffee McDonald’s.

Slipped on rocks at upper end of 41st, fell on right knee. Tore jeans, skinned knee but not too bad.

Mail: Letter from Mina, check from State Farm.

TV: News, Rivera, Three Tenors.

Tuesday, Aug. 11, 1998

Slept good. Rib pain not a factor.

To bank, deposited $23.20 from State Farm.

Drug Emporium, BP and TV Guide.

Hot, then breeze up. Side hurts, leaving knee to air.

TV: Old Morse on A&E 

No sleep til 3 a.m.

Wednesday, Aug. 12, 1998

Wakened at 7:10 a.m. 5.4 quake near Hollister, some damage in grocery stores.

Longs for BP, calcium.

Albertsons for lettuce, peaches, bread.

Wrote Prudy and Mimi. Took to post office.

Mail: Visa bill, books from Mina, letter with article.

Thursday, Aug, 13, 1998

Slept good. Took 1 mg melatonin and aspirin. Ribs hurt in a.m.

Awake 8:15. Usual breakfast. Listened to Ronn.

Drug Emporium, BP. Got diuretics and Iodine.

To mall, coffee.

To show, “Ever After.” Good.

Watched news, read papers. Put electric pad on ribs, seems to help. Put iodine solution on knee.

TV: Frost, new one to me. Law & Order also.

 

Friday, Aug. 14, 1998

To Sears, got bra. 38C.

To Drug Emporium, BP. Two times.

To show, “The Avengers.” Not great. “Fantasy.”

Highway traffic terrible.

Mail: New Yorker.

TV: Golf, news, “The Usual Suspects.” Good!!

Saturday, Aug. 15, 1998

Awake 7. Usual.

Washed car, watered lawn, walked on cliff.

Fog, chilly. Not crowded.

Talked to Ellie. Freda to Maine, family reunion.

Home, golf and tennis.

Write Mina.

Papers, golf and news.  

Sunday, Aug. 16, 1998

Awake 7, but still feel need to rest??

To Drug Emporium, BP, cookies, trail mix.

Looked for new donut place, car wouldn’t start. Young man — surfer? — in red pick-up suggested it was the alternator.

Tennis: Davenport over Hingis.

Few small chores.

Monday, Aug. 17, 1998

Changed bed. Shower/hair.

Longs. BP, more Corn Flakes.

News, lunch, wrote letter re: George.

To Longs for Xerox. Got ice cream!

TV: Clinton speech, Geraldo. Had Alan Dershowitz, shaved his mustache, wasn’t polite!!

TV: Law & Order, Penn and Teller.

Got clothes ready for wash.

Tuesday, Aug. 18, 1998

To laundry, only one person there.

Looked for new donut spot. 

Home, Ronn Owens on C-Span. Watched 9-10.

Wrote letter re: George to Mary.

To show, “Negotiators.” Good.

TV: Morse, X-Files. Bed.

Yes, melatonin.

Wednesday, Aug. 19, 1998

Up 9, awake 7:20. Usual breakfast.

Drug Emporium, BP, TV Guide, etc. 

Looked for knit cap at Gott’s, Penney’s, Kmart. Got two at Ross, also a jacket.

Ate lunch at Kmart. Woman sat with me. Nice, lives on Soquel Road.

Dinner Live Oak. Sat with Vivian, we swapped fone numbers in case of movie.

TV: Geraldo, Gov. Cuomo; some Discovery; Sherlock Holmes.

Bed 9:30. Crossword, etc.

Sleep 10:30. No melatonin.

Thursday, Aug. 20, 1998

Awake 5, back to sleep. Then groggy, some dizziness.

Drug Emporium, BP, paper towels,

Donut/coffee on Ocean Street. Library closed!

Home, learned of bombing in Sudan.

Balanced fone bill, charged 51 cents for late charge. Called, still investigating.

TV: Law & Order, Touch of Frost.

Friday, Aug. 21, 1998

Up 6:45. Watered lawn, put fertilizer on some of it.

Breakfast, usual.

Talked to Lois and Oscar, to mall for coffee.

To library, checked Cisco, got a book by Iris Murdoch.

Wrote Mina and Dianne Feinstein.

Cleaned out basket. 

Bed 8:30, slept 2 hours, then read.

 

Saturday, Aug. 22, 1998

Usual breakfast. Vacuumed.

Some yard work, talked to Ellie. 

To Kmart, got lawn fertilizer. Ate lunch.

Home, tennis. Agassi won.

TV: USA movies, Black Rain and Dead Again; Charlie Chan, news.

Sunday, Aug. 23, 1998

Usual. Typed up 1997 trip.

Tennis, football: 49ers vs. Miami 

To Kmart for gas, lunch. Ate carrot cake and ice cream!

TV: 60 Minutes, old segment. Terrorist serving 1,117-year sentence.

Bed early. Read Murdoch.

 

Monday, Aug. 24, 1998

Awake 8:30. Usual. Got paper.

Ate burrito at Carl’s. !Cholesterol!

To Sears, paid bill. Check to H for $510.

Mailed plastic bag from Liverpool to Mina.

Shower/hair.

Phil made new steps for Larry.

Read book, some TV: X-Files.

 

Tuesday, Aug. 25, 1998

Read Jackson’s Dilemma until 2 a.m.

Up 10 a.m. but weak, motor skills uncertain.

Put heat on, took antihistamine.

Ate usual breakfast 11 a.m. Some better.

BP higher.

Drug Emporium, got antihistamine, TV Guide.

Talked to neighbors.

Bed early

 

Wednesday, Aug. 26, 1997

Up 7 a.m.Feel  better.

Phil made two stairs for Larry. Very nice, with hiding place underneath.

Taped AMC, three “Paris Shows.”

Read, watched PBS, Islands.

Bed, sleep tea, aspirin, milk, toast, melatonin. Sleep finally 2 a.m.

Thursday, Aug. 27, 1998

Up 8. Usual breakfast. Fog.

Longs, BP still high. 155/82. Got maxi-pads and pineapple.

To library and bank.

Home, called bank, balanced OK.

Mail: Letters from Prudy and Myra.

Ran tape, “Paris Sizzles.”

TV: Frost, Law & order.

Friday, Aug. 28, 1998

Cholesterol test.

Very little sleep??

Up 8:15. Usual breakfast, chores. Out at 10.

Drug Emporium for BP, trail mix and crackers.

Longs for test, not good. He said to get an exam, cholesterol too high.

Kmart for lunch after walk on cliff.

Mail: Card from Haydee, bank statements.

Balanced statements, fone still has not been paid.

Watered lawn. Nice weather.

Saturday, Aug. 29, 1998

Up 8:15, rested til 9.

Usual breakfast.

Longs, BP and Xerox. BP high, 160.

To Drug Emporium, BP 140.

To show, “Pi.” Black and white, very unusual.

Home, read papers, finished tape of Doris Day.

Watched part of “So this is Paris,” with Tony Curtis.

Took lots of sub lingual melatonin, slept good!

Sunday, Aug. 30, 1998

Up 8. Usual breakfast.

Wrote to Haydee, Dianne Feinstein, with copy to White House.

Watched golf, ironed t-shirts.

To Longs to copy letters, lost 2nd sheet of H’s.

Back to Longs with Larry, got ice cream bar.

TV: Siskel & Ebert, 60 Minutes, X-Files.

Monday, Aug. 31, 1998

Awakened 6. Alarm set.

Read papers. Shower/hair.

Kmart, BP, lunch. Got 3 Dinty Moores.

Home, worked on cruise pictures until 4.

Tennis: Seles and Agassi won.

TV: Poirot, bio of Prince Phillip.

 

September entries.