My Grandmother's Journals: April, 1998

In 1969 with her first grandchild, far left.

In tiny notebooks, my grandmother wrote each day when she woke, where she ate breakfast, any movie she went to see, any mail and calls she received, then what she read and watched on TV before bed.

 

In 1998, she was 82 and living alone in a mobile home park in Santa Cruz, Calif., but I wouldn't describe her as lonely. She was an extremely independent, frugal and persnickety woman whom I never knew to live with another person or even a pet after she raised my mother as a single mother in Los Angeles in the 1940s and 50s. (I wrote more about her life in this post.) 

 

 

 

She lived close to the famous surfing spot Pleasure Point, and nearly every day she walked to those cliffs to watch the ocean and anyone surfing it. 

When she died at 97 in 2013, I took her ashes to those waves with one of her friends, and we each dropped some ashes at the sand. A moment after I dropped mine, a surfer emerged from the water where I stood.    

That was cool. 

 

 

 In April of 1998, she watched a lot of ice skating and pulled a lot of weeds in her yard while keeping up with all her pen pals, one of whom in London she made sure to buy Levi's jeans and Nike shoes for when they went on sale!

 

March entries

Wednesday, April 1, 1998

Up 8:45. Usual tea, chores.

Some work on cuttings.

Drug Emporium, paper.

McDonald’s, coffee.

Kmart, exchanged TV Guide.

Mail: Letter from Stimson with pics of his cat.

TV: Some Geraldo, Frasier, Yo-Yo Ma.

Bought Lotto.

 

Thursday, April 2, 1998

Awake 7:30. Tea. etc. Ready 10.

Walked cliff, cold.

Drug Emporium, got make-up.

TV: Mystery, Morse. First name is ”Endeavour.” Takes woman to all-nite hotel.

Got saw from Larry. 

Saturday, April 4, 1998

Awake 6:30, up 8.

Tea, etc. To Drug Emporium.

Post office, letter to Prudy with clippings.

To show, “Mercury Rising.” Bruce Willis, autistic boy.

To Burger King, fish.

Groceries at Albertsons, Xerox at Longs.

Home, cut wood with hacksaw.

TV: Ice skating, Kwan barely won. Fell on axel.

Sunday, April 5, 1998

Not good sleep, felt half awake.

Breakfast at Kmart.

Looked at Sears, Gottschalk’s for pants, decided to use what I have, just lose weight.

TV: Part of 60 Minutes, Siskel and Ebert: Spanish Prison, good; Mercury Rising, not good.

Bed, tried to listen to French. Wrote Mimi.

 

Monday, April 6, 1998

Slept late!

Drug Emporium, got toenail clippers.

Library, read some of The New Yorker.

To show, “Men with Guns.” Good.

Home, food. Read papers.

Bed, got two Pollifax books at library. 

Tuesday, April 7, 1998

Up 7 a.m. Tea, etc.

Laundromat. Man gave me Wisk soap. Ladies from Chicago gave me fabric softener.

Donut/coffee, home.

Chores, talked to Lois/Oscar.

To Kmart: Cheese sandwich, carrot cake, ice cream!

Home, finished Mrs. Pollifax, Innocent Tourist.

Pulled weeds.

TV: Frasier, old X-Files, Law & Order.

 

Wednesday, April 8, 1998

Some chores, washed brown sweater.

Walked cliff.

Drug Emporium, got TV Guide.

To mall: Coffee, Sears for bra.

Wrote Stimson, to post office. Got three 60-cent stamps.

Not much sleep. Fone calls, I presumed.

TV: Frasier, news.

Worked on letter to London.

Up 3 a.m., soup.

Slept maybe 4 hours.

Thursday, April 9, 1998

Up 8 a.m. Cold. Chores.

Wrote letter to Geneaology Society.

Mailed it in Scotts Valley,  ate chicken at BK.

To show, “Primary Colors.” Enjoyed. Only 5 there.

Home via Lucky.

Mail: Charles Schwab, check from NY Bank.

TV: Mystery

Bed, slept good.

Friday, April 10, 1998

Up 8. Tea, etc.

Worked in yard, pulled weeds.

Fixed tuna, ate here.

To Drug Emporium, Kinko’s, post office.

Letter to Pearl re: Tortoise, to Rudy re Glendale therapist.

To Kmart, got carrot cake with ice cream!!

Home 4 p.m. news, chores.

Walked on cliff. 

TV: Frasier, X-Files. Part of Albert Finney, “A Man of No Importance.”

 

Saturday, April 11, 1998

Rained in nite. Slept good. 1-2, 5-9.

Read “Mrs Pollifax Pursued,” third time.

To town 4:25 p.m. Library closes at 5 p.m. Returned Pursued, got fone of Greyhound in SF.

Walked a bit, nice day.

To post office, mailed IRS payment.

Home after stop at Trader Joe's.

TV: Travel, Oslo, Bergen.

Sunday, April 12, 1998

Awake 6, cold. Slept til 10.

Changed dust bag on vacuum.

Tennis 11 a.m. Pierce vs. Martinez. First set to tie break. Mary at net, good plays.

Golf: Mark O’Mera won Masters. Couples led most of time.

Vacuumed.

Finished Mrs. Pollifax Lion Killer.

Called Mina, not home, left message. She called back. Had good Easter with family.

 

Monday, April 13, 1998

Slept good. Awake 8:30, Tea, etc.

To Longs for paper, Xerox. BP high?

To post office, mailed two books to Mina.

To donut shop on Ocean Avenue.

To library. Returned book, got Greyhound times.

Mail: Letter from Mina with pix of cats.

To bank, got $200.

Home, some French tapes.

TV: News, Frasier. 

More French.

Tuesday, April 14, 1998

Mailed letter to London.

Cold in night.

Awake 6, up 7 for tea, etc. Back to bed, too cold!

Ready 10 a.m. Drug Emporium TV Guide and BP.

To bank, out wrong way. Police in same exit! No ticket.

To BK, chicken sandwich.

Home, rested. Lawn mower! Swept.

Ran tape of Charles Bubbles.

Wednesday, April 15, 1998

Awake 5, up 8.

Swept Larry’s carport.

To Kmart for breakfast. Got two sweatshirts; 1 grey, 1 black. Also bag of redwood.

Home, tried on shirts. OK, men’s.

Library, looked for Aimee Semple McPherson, mutual funds, car racing.

Home, ate. Usual TV.

Bed early.

 

Thursday, April 16, 1998

Awake 6:45. Cold.

Heat, tea, etc.

Dug up roots of jasmine, but one big one.

10:30. Tea, toast.

Drug Emporium, BP. 115/88.

TJ’s, no chocolate.

To show, “City of Angels.” N. Cage, Meg Ryan.

Home, ate corn. Not real good.

Wrote Mimi. Sent newspaper clipping of out-of-wedlock daughter of Pres. Mitterrand.

TV: News, Frasier, Israel Philharmonic, Mystery.

Friday, April 17, 1998

Up 8, tea. Cold in a.m.

Worked in yard. Got root out. Planted periwinkle.

Ate here.

Bank, put money in Justine’s account.

To Kmart, ate carrot cake! & ice cream.

Got another bag of redwood mini chips.

Mail: Medicare, Fone co.

Called doctors in Scotts Valley, had argument.

TV: News, Frasier. Nothing unusual.

Saturday, April 18, 1998

Awake 7. Tea, etc.

To San Jose via Soquel, Summit Road.

Came back same way. Traffic light.

Lunch at Wendy’s.

To show, “Mrs. Dalloway.” Good actors. Hardy. Vanessa Redgrave.

Mail: Letter from Prudy. 

Some French, papers.

 

Sunday, April 19, 1998

Up 7:30. Tea.

Worked in yard. Put out redwood chips.

Talked to Mina re Mitterrand.

Ate KFC. Longs, BP.

Drug Emporium, got vitamins.

Called Justine.

TV: Ice skating, news, Siskel & Ebert, part of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, w/ Sean Connery.

Ate soup, packed vitamins.

 

Monday, April 20, 1998

Awake 7:30, Tea, etc. Cold, heater.

Yard work again, used all redwood chips. 

Lady here weeding, spoke to her about the bush at No. 27.

Wrote Mina. To post office, mailed letter to Paris.

Kmart, lunch.

Thrifty, got batteries for little magnifying glass.

Nothing good on TV.

Tuesday, April 21, 1998

Awake 3, up 7. Usual.

Drug Emporium, BP.

Goodwill, looked for pants, warm sweater.

Donut/coffee.

To Ross, Gottschalk’s, Penney’s, Mervyn’s, nothing.

No mail.

Hot today.

Man shot on Highway 17. Hit and run, then threatened cops.

TV: Frasier, Law & Order.

Tried on clothes. Bed after news.

Hot.

Wednesday, April 22, 1998

Awake 6:45. Usual.

To Kmart, got another (3rd) sack of redwood chips.

Sears, paid bill. $53.66 Then bought pair of brown pants.

Coffee, talked to friends of Lily. They saw her Sunday.

Lost part of paper. To library, no luck.

 

Thursday, April 23, 1998

Up 7:30. Cold. No heat.

Wrote Mina.

Called contractor, $25 to fix. He can do it when I’m not here.

Raining.

To post office, then library. Read yesterday’s paper re shooting on 17.

Home, read more.

TV: Mystery, “Unsuitable Job for a Woman.”

Friday, April 24, 1998

Up 8. Usual tea.

No heat, some warm water. Most places in mall no gas.

Got coffee, read paper.

Home, sewed fur collar.

PG&E came about 3:30, turned pilot off.

Ate here, tired.

TV: Frasier, news.

Bed, some papers. Slept good.

Saturday, April 25, 1998

Awake 5, up 8. Tea, etc.

Worked in yard 9:30 to 10:30.

Chores.

Kmart, BP. Got snail bait, TV Guide.

To show, “The Locket.” Old, 1946. Robert Mitchum.

Mail: Notice from Treasury. Called to renew.

Mina called. Talked long, Beanie babies.

Some TV. Crossword.

 

Sunday, April 26, 1998

Awake 5, up 6:30. Tea.

Worked in yard 8-9.

Kmart, gas. To 41st donut shop.

To show, “Spanish Prisoner.” Good.

Library, found info for Mina.

Lunch BK.

Home, foned Mina, left word.

TV: “Merlin.” Magic.

Read Mrs. Pollifax until 2 a.m.

Electric blanket doesn’t work.

(Mina called Sunday 5/3. Had not received letter.)

Monday, April 27, 1998

Up 7:30. Usual. 

Washed beige sweater.

Tried to find problem with electric blanket.

Drug Emporium, got isopropyl alcohol, tuna.

Mall, got clips for hangers.

To Kmart for lunch, checked for electric blanket. Have a 5-year warranty.

Worked in yard, Grass cut, I did some edging.

Some French after Frasier.

Tuesday, April 28, 1998

Get travelers checks. 

Get bday card for Yvonne.

Up 7:30. Watered lawns. Ready 9:15.

Mailed Mina's books, 2 Pollifax.

Longs, BP, tuna.

Mervyn’s, got credit for blanket. Bought new one, not electric.

Home. News, ironed.

Kmart. No TV Guides.

TV: “The Painted Lady” w/Helen Mirren. 

Wednesday, April 29, 1998

Get maps out.

Awake 6 a.m., yard work til 9:30.

Contractor (Scandinavian) worked on plug. Finished 11 a.m.

Got donut/coffee.

Mervyn’s saw sale on Levi’s. Called Sandra 1 p.m. Not there.

2:30, Sandra again. She said get Nike 10.5, pants 34 by 34. 

To dinner, English woman sat by me.

Back to Mervyn’s. Home 5:40 p.m.

TV: News, Geraldo, Frasier.

Bed early. Slept good.

Thursday, April 30, 1998

Rent.

Up, ready, to Laundromat.

Home. Shower/hair. Wrote Sandra.

Noticed UK shoe sizes smaller, back to Mervyn’s. Got bigger size, 11.5.

Paid rent, to post office.

TV: Frasier, Mystery.

Windy, cloudy. Rain late in a.m.

Tired.

 

May entries.

Driving with Nancy: How a raccoon helped me through an avalanche of anxiety

Nancy the raccoon soothing our new kitten.

I used to drive with a raccoon belted into the middle of my pick-up truck seat. 

 

One day when a co-worker jumped in to cover a breaking news assignment, I waited with embarrassment as he took in the odd seatmate I forgot to move. 

 

But he just smiled like it was perfectly normal to have a plush toy next to him and said, “Oh, good. Mr. Racoon has his seatbelt on.”

That was cool.

Twenty years later, his response still makes me smile. And I was thinking of that raccoon this winter because the pummeling storms we’re getting in California reminded me of Rocky, the first car raccoon in my family.

My mother started the raccoon tradition in 1983 when she bought a used Honda station wagon, which she was only able to afford because it had been salvaged from a mudslide in Santa Cruz County earlier that year. Mostly the car still ran OK, except for an electrical short that could suddenly kill the engine and strand us anywhere, at any time. But about 15 minutes after dying on the freeway, it would start up again like nothing happened.

Soon after my mother got the car, she found a large toy raccoon stuck in the mud while out birding. She took it home for a good scrubbing, named it Rocky after the main character in a Beatles song, then put him back in her car so the two flood survivors could keep each other company.

 

And yes, that was cool, too. Even teen me thought so.

I got my own car raccoon many years later from a friend who bought the super soft toy in a surge of pregnancy hormones. Since it reminded me of my mother’s raccoon, I named it Nancy, the girl Rocky fancied in the song, but wasn’t quite sure what to do with her.

 

Until I moved to Washington State, where I found myself battling a new and near-crippling anxiety on my commute. Driving has always stirred deep dread for me, but my years in Seattle created an avalanche of fears — 9/11, the return of my husband and roads covered in snow — that nearly buried me.

 

It’s crazy I tried driving at all, really, given that my mother was killed in a car crash right before I started Driver’s Ed in high school. I nearly passed out in class after the first “Hamburger Highway” film, which was full of real and faked crash footage meant to show teens how dangerous driving can be. When I finally worked up the courage to tell my teacher how vividly I had already learned that lesson, the gruff coach softened and let me sit in the library for the rest of the graphic films.

 

And while I was very nervous behind the wheel at first, like most teens I soon fell in love with the freedom and control driving gave me. And for nearly 20 years, my mother’s crash seemed to only make me a far more cautious driver than nearly everyone I knew. 

 

Until Sept. 11, 2001. Before that day, I was voraciously exploring my new city, even happily driving hours with friends to the coast to go clamming or into the mountains to go skiing. But after 9/11, I not only didn't want to drive, I didn't want to leave my house for anything but work and food.

I remember watching a plane fly into a New York City skyscraper from my futon couch 3,000 miles away and feeling all the scaffolding I built after my mother’s crash tumble down with the buildings on the screen, which reminded me that my life could shatter again at any moment.

And the anxiety only intensified when my husband joined me in Seattle soon after, because then I had two people to worry about never coming home again whenever they drove away.

 

Then the anxiety became an avalanche when I got a new job with a very long and complicated commute: 90 minutes, with half of that on water. It seems crazy that I even considered trying that commute, but the job was finally a full-time reporter position at a newspaper, so I never considered not trying it.

 

I loved the work immediately, and though I was losing money every month paying the ferry fares at first, I even came to love that commute. After braving city traffic to reach the dock, I was free to read the paper, drink coffee and eat breakfast, or just watch the water and the mountains gliding past. I still smile thinking of those relaxing journeys, especially the cat naps I took on the commute home, which were crazy cool.

 

Then came the snow. After one morning when I couldn’t reach the ferry dock because the roads were ice rinks, I obsessively read the weather forecast before my drives for any sign of white precipitation, carefully noting when the temperature would drop below freezing.

But no forecast is perfect, as we all learned one Monday night: My husband was watching the football game held in Seattle, realizing as the announcers remarked on the “unexpected snowstorm” turning the city white that, “Oh, crap — Justine is driving home in this!”

Well, almost home. I white-knuckled the drive through downtown and into our neighborhood, but only managed to fish-tail about halfway up the last hill before pulling over in a panic and walking to ask my husband to finish the drive.

After that night, we put concrete blocks into the back of the truck for stability, and I put Nancy in the cab next to me for support, since she reminded me of Rocky, and Rocky reminded me of my mother.

And Nancy was a great help. Not just with the snow, but for the times I worked too late to take the ferry home and had to drive around the water at night, crossing a busy bridge and braving hectic Tacoma traffic on the mammoth I-5, which was the exact opposite of taking a peaceful nap on the placid waters of the Puget Sound.

But whenever I got anxious, I’d give Nancy a pat, and feel my mother patting my leg, the soothing touch she’d give me whenever I sucked in my breath while she was driving. And Nancy and I, we always made it home safe.

My Grandmother's Journals: March, 1998

I have a bag of small notebooks my grandmother recorded her days in: When she woke, what she ate, any movie she went to see, any mail and calls she received, then what she read and watched on TV before bed.

 

In 1998, she was 82 and living alone in a mobile home park in Santa Cruz, Calif., but I wouldn't describe her as lonely. She was an extremely independent, frugal and persnickety woman whom I never knew to live with another person or even a pet after she raised my mother as a single mother in the 1940s and 50s in Los Angeles, Calif. (I wrote more about her life in an earlier post.) 

 

 

The photo at right shows my grandmother and mother in the late 1940s in LA. I don't know anything about that stroller, but I do know that dog wasn't theirs!

 

 

 

My grandmother loved the ocean, and lived close to the famous surfing spot Pleasure Point. Nearly every day she walked to the cliffs above the ocean, checking out the waves and seeing if anyone was surfing. When she died at 97 in 2013, I took her ashes to those waves with one of her friends, and we each dropped some ashes at the sand. A moment after I dropped mine, a surfer emerged from the water where I stood.   

That was cool. 

February entries.

Sunday, March 1, 1998

Took melatonin tablet (1 mg) last night, slept OK.

Awake 6:30, back til 8:30. Usual breakfast.

CBS 9 a.m., "Face the Nation." Arnold Specter feels Starr is going too far.

Tennis 10 a.m. Sampras won, some great shots.

Walked to mall, bank, home.

Worked on pix.

TV: 60 Mins, "Women in White."

Monday, March 2, 1998

Awake 4:30, up 7:30. Usual breakfast.

To Drug Emporium.

To county building, looked for clue to street. Got two deeds, no easement mentioned.

Home, called Justine. She can’t come, having M&M for dinner.

Fixed tuna.

Mail:Letter from Mina, had to get tested for HIV and Hepatitis. Lab tech broke a vial containing Mina’s blood.

TV: News, Frasier, A&E “Egypt Discoveries.”

Tuesday, March  3, 1998

Awake 6:30. Usual breakfast. Chores.

Dillon called. Tomorrow, 11 a.m.

Put tax records in shed.

To Drug Emporium, got TV Guide, osteo-bio.

Walked cliff, nice weather.

Ate BK, chicken san.

Home, worked on fotos.

TV: News, Frasier, X-Files.

Bed 9, no sleep. Read papers.

 

Friday, March 20, 1998

Awake early, 5:30.

Worked cutting up the Jasmine, then pulled some weeds from 9 to 10 a.m.

OSH: Checked in nursery for Carmel Creeper. Only 5 gal cans there. $16.99

Home, lunch. 

Put “umbrella” plant outside, moved “snake” plants around.

Repotted Christmas cactus.

Wrote girls.

Saturday, March 21, 1998

Awake 7. Tea, etc.

Drug Emporium, BP.

Post Office, mailed letter to girls, Andra.

Looked for typewriter ribbons, too high. 

To Sears, got ribbons and correction tape. Also brown tights.

To Scotts Valley, ice cream!

To show, “Primary Colors.”

Home, some TV, read papers.

Called Mina, talked to Larry.

Sunday, March 22, 1998

Slept good, two Melatonin pills.

After tea, worked in yard. Got leaves cleaned up. pulled some weeds.

Talked to Ellie, she in pain. To emergency, nerve.

Fertilized plants.

Golf: Ernie is big! 220 lbs.

To Nob Hill, very busy.

To Longs, BP out.

Home 4 p.m. Ate yogurt, potato.

TV: Moguls of Hollywood, good. Titanic, X-Files.

Monday, March 23, 1998

Awake 6. Tea, etc.

Drug Emporium for BP.

To Kmart 10:30 for breakfast. Got plant and steer manure. $.89

Looking for oil SAE20: Kmart, Sears, Thrifty, Albertsons, Longs and Lucky.

Finally found man who gave answers: Can use 3 in one, or 30. But no-detergent, The detergent can spark a fire!

Put fertilizer on all parts of lawn, grass cut. Rained softly.

Oscars tonite.

Tuesday, March 24, 1998

Awake 7. Tea, etc.

Correction tape wrong.

To Drug Emporium. BP, TV Guide, card for Justine, cough drops.

41st for donut/coffee.

To Palace Stationery. No correction tape?

Back to Sears, got tape.

To Travel Agency re Tahiti.

To Carol's, returned book.

Broke rear right light, backed into garbage at harbor parking.

TV: News, Frasier.

Bed 10:30. Good sleep.

Wednesday, March 25, 1998

Awake 7, up 8. Tea, etc.

Chores.

To Sew, Sew Maria’s. Got blouse, pink.

Walked on cliff. Talked to polite man, called me “ma'am.”

To Drug Emporium, got paper. Told girl about string.

To McDonald’s, coffee.

Home, sewed nightgown neck. 

TV: Frasier, Cybill.

Bed 9:30, crossword.

Thursday, March 26, 1998

Awake 6, slept til 9:15.

Tea, cereal.

10 a.m., ESPN. Venus Williams over Martina Hingis.

Hingis took toilet break after 2nd set, was “boo'd” after.

To Scott’s Valley, Doctors on Duty, paid $8.07 for flu shot. 

To show, “Man in Iron Mask.” They cut Depardieu “frontal nude.”

Mail: Got check, $14,038.70.

TV: Frasier, Mystery. 

Friday, March 27, 1998

Up 7, tea, cereal. Bank 9. Deposited check.

Home, tennis.

To Kmart, lunch. Turkey dinner.

To library, looked up capital gain stock dividend/splits.

To Wherehouse, got 2 videos. ($1.50). Already saw them.

Saturday, March 28, 1998

Awake 7. Heat, tea, etc.

To Safeway, no cereal sale.

To Nob Hill, got their corn flakes.

Home,  called Mina.

Tennis: Venus over Anna Kournakova, very good. Both tired from yesterday.

Few chores, then 41st coffee/donut.

To show, “Love and Death on Long Island.” Great!

Mail: Note from Justine. She and Karen are talking of going to Paris.

 

Tuesday, March 31, 1998

Awake 4:45, again 8:15. 

Chores. Raining. 

Mailed “Mosaic of Memories” to Gary and Joan, also mailed letter card to Mimi.

Kmart, no TV Guides yet.

41st, coffee/donut.

Albertsons, home.

Mail: Letter from Stimson.

Rained most of night.

April entries

Wish list at 25: "To have a reliable car. To get a good job. To be independent. To have space to dance."

At age 25, I wrote a list of wishes for my future. Feeling adrift and anxious because I had just graduated college and needed a job, I hoped to calm and focus myself by writing down what I wanted to have in my life. 

Which must have helped, because when I discovered that list recently, 52-year-old me was amazed to see I have fulfilled all of the professional and personal wishes 25-year-old me had.

That was cool.

But what's even more remarkable to me is what I did NOT wish for: To get married and have kids. Younger me wanted a good car and a good job without a long commute, wanted an interesting and fulfilling job alongside good people, then to find one good person to "love who loves me." But I did not wish for a husband and kids. So I didn't get them.

At least not the kids. I did get married, and my husband and I did try to get pregnant, but after many frustrating years it became clear we could not create a child.  And while overall we have accepted, and are mostly even relieved by, the fact that we couldn't, we both have some lingering deep sorrow about not having children to share our lives with. 

So reading that list I made long ago gave me just what I needed: Both to be reminded of how much I have actually accomplished, and that I still have one more wish to focus on. Which, funny enough, is the very first thing younger me had on her list: To live by the ocean.

And hopefully, it won't take another 25 years to finally cross everything off that list!

Here's the list I wrote in February of 1996:

1. To live by the ocean.

2. To live within walking distance of most necessities.

3. Not to have to commute.

4. To have space to dance.

5. To have a vegetable garden.

6. To be able to draw/paint/do ceramics.

7. To be independent. 

8. To have savings.

9. To work with good people I like.

10. To have a fulfilling, rewarding career.

11. To be healthy.

12. To have a fun, reliable car.

13. To see trees/mountains/birds/the ocean from my windows, either breakfast and/or bedroom.

14. To have people to share my life with.

15. To be living with someone whom I love who loves me; someone who is happy being with me and I'm happy being with them.

16. To see my father again? (More on that entry)

17. To graduate.

18. To get a good job.

19. To be a happy, vibrant, independent, successful person.

My Grandmother's Journals: February, 1998

With her grandfather on Treasure Island in 1939.

I’m a bit obsessed with the dairies my grandmother kept: When she woke, what she ate, the movie she went to see, any mail and calls she received, then what she read and watched on TV before bed.

 

I find the details of her days fascinating, not only because I’m curious about the minutia of most people’s lives, but because the journals I only discovered after her death finally let me feel close to a woman I could not connect with when she was alive.

For most of the years she kept her journals, she lived alone in a mobile home park in Santa Cruz, Calif., but I wouldn't describe her as lonely. She was an extremely independent, frugal and persnickety woman whom I never knew to live with another person or even a pet. (I wrote more about her life in an earlier post.) 

 

Close to her mobile home was the famous surfing spot called Pleasure Point, and nearly every day she walked to the cliffs above the ocean to watch the waves and surfers. So when she died at 97 in 2013, I took her ashes to those waves with one of her friends, and we each dropped some ashes at the sand. A moment after I dropped mine, a surfer emerged from the water where I stood.  

That was cool.

 

 

In February of 1998, my grandmother was not traveling, just dutifully typing letters to all her pen pals, many of whom she met abroad, staying current with the news and sports, and dutifully heading to Trader Joe's to buy me gingko biloba!

January entries.

 

Sunday, February 1, 1998

Awake 7, Tea, etc. Crossword.

Raining hard.

Called Justine. Raining hard there, no driving.

Talked of her father and of meeting in San Jose, museum.

To Aptos for show, “Wag the Dog.” Late, will rent it. 

To Safeway, electricity out. 

To Albertsons, they said not to club (cashier).

Home, paid rent. 

TV: Last of Reckless, taped Jazz program.

Couldn’t sleep til 3 a.m.

 

Monday, Feb. 2, 1998

Awake 9:30, Tea, etc.

Dressed and to Drug Emporium for paper, BP. Got TV Guide.

Raining hard.

Mail: Credit Union, bill for waste allowance.

Rained almost all night, plastic wind shield blown off. Rivers rising.

Called Justine. She looks at Napa River, from 2' across to 10' across. 

 

Tuesday, Feb. 3, 1998

Awake 7:45 a.m. Tea, etc. 

Many roads closed, power outages. Santa Cruz, Monterey, San Jose considered emergency areas. Hwy 101 closed south of Salinas.

Carport at No. 1, Bebe's, blown down (part way), worker finished it. 

Her roof blew away (part way) last year.

Paid Gottschalk's, to Post Office for stamps.

To Kmart, got shirt for Lutz. Got shirt for me at Gottschalk’s.

TV: “Silent Witness.”

 

Wednesday, Feb. 4, 1998

Awake 5 a.m., back to sleep until 9:30. Chores.

Drug Emporium, BP, got “Relaxing tea.”

Post office, mailed package to Lutz.

Walked cliff. 

Got coffee/donut. Showed pictures of Bali.

Mail: Check from State Farm, insurance card.

To bank to deposit check.

Mr. Sanchez came over, cut bush.

Took Larry to doctor. 

Some TV. To bed, tired.

Up 1 a.m, washed some items.

Thursday, Feb. 5, 1998

Slept 4-9, good! Ready 10:30.

Trip to Capitola Beach. Wind bad!

To library, looked for table. Nothing. Finished “The God Hustlers.”

Ate at Burger King.

Mid-County does not want stockings.

Home, readied tapes for Mina; Science Odysessy.

WIND UP.

Some TV. Frasier, two segments. 

Caught up with papers. Bed late.

 

Friday, Feb. 6, 1998

Up Late. Radio: Ronn on Clinton again. Bad joke day.

Wrote to Andra/Lutz, wrapped videos for Mina.

Wrote Mina, note to Justine

Donut/coffee at 41st. To Longs, copied letters.

To Post Office. Home 3:30.

TV: News, Frasier, Law & Order, Ted Koppel: Blair/Clinton.

 

Saturday, Feb. 7, 1998

Awake 7:56. News, tea, etc.

To post office 9:45. Mailed letters to Mina, Justine.

Looked at Capitola Beach. Disaster. Police tape at edge of sidewalk.

Home, read papers. Wind wild.

Fire engines 1:30. Trees?

TV: Placido Domingo, Met production, 1984.

Taped: Woody Allen’s “Husbands and Wives.”

Watched: Ghost, Strangers in Good Company. (Good).

Ran “Husbands,” sewed.

 

Sunday, Feb. 8, 1998

Tea, raining hard.

Ran tape of In Good Company, 1/2 hour.

To cliff, to sea. Watched a bit. New construction looks good.

Instead of a show, home. Raining.

Put out garbage, had mail. Letter from Masonic home.

Read some letters. Pauline died, family asking for pix.

Olympics: Watched skating, snowboarding. 

 

Monday, Feb. 9, 1998

Awake finally 9 a.m.

Chores. Tea,  etc.

Drug Emporium: BP OK. Got TV Guide, cookies.

To show, “Replacement Killers.” Lots of digital TV scenes.

Mail from Mina, Northern Trust.

Worked on pix, Pauline.

TV: X-Files, news. Still houses full of mud.

 

Tuesday, Feb. 10, 1998

No sleep til 4 a.m. Awake 9:45. Usual.

Longs: BP, pix, cans of food, paper towels.

Gas at Beacons, 1.289/gallon.

Ross, got black ? JC Penney, got silver mylar table cover.

Home 3:15 p.m. News, mended pants, buttonhole.

Worked on gathering info for Pauline’s relatives.

Shower/hair.

Ran part of Jazz tape, watched “Bad Boys,” Will Smith, Martin Lawrence as plain clothes detectives; some funny, some dumb.

Bed. Melatonin, slept good.

 

Wednesday, Feb. 11, 1998

Up 9. Tea, etc.

Donut and coffee at 41st.

Stationery store, got paper clips, round fasteners.

Walked on cliff. Beautiful weather.

Mail: Long letter from Mina.

TV: Soul Man, Frasier, some Olympics. Skiing. Picabo Street got gold. Also man from Tiburon.

 

Thursday, Feb. 12, 1998

Up 7:30. Tea, etc.

Packed vitamins, 10 bags. 

Some chores.

McDonald’s for coffee.

To Longs for pix.

Library, 250 cars crash in Italy.

To Wendy’s for lunch. Got salad.

Mail: Letter from Carla.

TV: Jim Lehrer hour. Olympics.

 

Friday, Feb. 13, 1998

Couldn't sleep. 8:30, Larry out hammering.

Sunny today. Out 10:30.

Donut, coffee, paper, BP.

Bank, deposited in Justine’s account.

Home, wrote to both girls.

To show, “Afterglow.” Julie Christie, Nick Nolte. Good.

TV: Olympics, some reruns, Frasier.

Saturday, Feb. 14, 1998

Awake 8:30. Tea, etc. Out 10:30.

Drug Emporium, BP OK.

Read paper in car. Raining hard.

Burger King, home.

Tennis: Sampras won, replayed Agassi. Good tennis.

Papers, news. Worked on federal taxes. Must do cap gains.

Olympics: Men's skating. Todd fell.

Sunday, Feb. 15, 1998

Up 7:30. Tea, etc.

To show, “The Apostle.” Well done. 2 hours, 10 mins.

Home 2 p.m. Tennis match.

Dinner here, called Mina. She called back, talked long.

TV: News, ran end of “A Little Romance.”

Joan McCoy called to see if I’m OK.

 

Monday, Feb. 16, 1998

Awake 7:30. Not much sleep. Listened to “Leaves of Grass” cassette.

Rain let up a bit.

To Longs, Xerox broken. Got muffins.

To Kmart for lunch. Raining hard.

Home, read paper, wrote letter to Prudy.

Called Justine 3:30 p.m.

TV: Olympics, ice dancing. Russia 1-2, France 3. Ist coach had gorgeous sable coat. Where does money come from?

 

Tuesday, Feb. 17, 1998

Awake 6:30, up 7:30. To laundromat 9:15.

Coffee and donut at 41st. 

No rain, then real rain. Caught in rain, got pants and sox wet! Hope no cold!

Finished and mailed letter to Mimi.

Olympics, women's hockey won gold. Nikki Stone, gold in aerials.

Radio: Strong Clinton speech at Pentagon, Ronn agrees.

 

Wednesday, Feb. 18, 1998

Awake 6:30. Tea, etc. Sun out.

To Trader Joe's, Drug Emporium, BP; Longs, Albertsons.

Walked on cliff, lovely day.

Home, Oscar and Lois walked by with Lois' sister. Lois in therapy.

Mail from Justine, she needs gingko.

To TJ's, got two gingko & echinacea. 

TV: Olympics.

Foned Dillon.

 

Thursday, Feb. 19, 1998

Awake 6:30, some news. Dillon called.

Dressed 9 a.m. To post office, mailed GB & E to Justine.

Breakfast Kmart.

To library, returned Leaves of Grass. 

Home, news. FBI arrested two men in Law Vegas with white substance. "Media" reports allege anthrax.

Wrote Sy and Stimson. 

Left message on Justine's machine.

TV: Frasier, X-Files.

Read French.

 

Friday, Feb. 20, 1998

Up 7. Tea, etc. Expected Dillon, no. Waited til 10.

Walked on cliff. Mary there.

Got donut and coffee.

Talked to Ellie, was ill. Goes to VA Wed for tests.

Home. News, ate some veggies.

To show, “Zero Effect.” Crowded! Funny, clever.

Home 5 p.m. News, ate tuna steak, Betty Crocker potatoes.

Mina called. Chatted a bit re Kwan/Lipinski.

Bed after Olympics.

Saturday, Feb. 21, 1998

Awake 8:30. Chores.

Drug Emporium for paper.

41st for donut/coffee. Thorton died.

Home. Finished fed taxes, read paper.

Justine called. Received vitamins.

TV: Taped some skating, watched “Clear and Present Danger.”

Bed 12:30, no sleep til 2 a.m. 

Sunday, Feb. 22, 1998

Tea, etc. Chores, shower/hair.

Announced on CNN that Saddam agreed to inspection.

Mall: Paid JC. Penney, bought book.

Ate at Burger King. Got two videos at Wherehouse.

Home 3 p.m. Ran “Jade,” part of others.

Part One of Oprah Winfrey presents, “The Wedding.”

Monday, Feb. 23, 1998

Up 8:30. Tea, etc. Some slack in rain.

Returned videos, mailed state tax forms, got paper.

To Lucky, then library. 

To Longs for Xerox, paper jammed.

Home, Frasier. Some “sleeping.”

Tuesday. Feb. 24, 1998

Dinner Live Oak, Bingo.

up 7:30. Tea, etc. Drug Emporium.

Walked on cliff.

Coffee at 41st.

Home, wrote to Mina. Some work in garden.

Read some.

 

Wednesday, Feb. 25, 1998

Up 7:30. Tea, etc.

Drug Emporium, got some vitamins.

Gasoline, Trader Joe's. Coffee at mall.

Mail: Received card from Andra. Lutz got shirts.

Talked to Ellie, told Myra.

Wrote Justine about Dr. Edell.

To post office. Cold.

Some TV. Frasier, Dharma & Gregg. Ronn (Owens) said was his favorite. I thought no. Tries too hard?

Finished papers.

Bed to read Elliot R's book, got sidetracked to Leonardo Da Vinci.

That time I met Dr. Dean Edell in Mendocino County in 2014!

 Thursday, Feb. 26. 1998

Awake 7:30. Tea, etc. Ready by 9:15.

To Safeway. Bath tissue, bananas, potatoes.

Got paper at Kmart, also cough drops. 

Walked on cliff. Beautiful day.

Mail: Bank statement. Balanced OK.

TV: Frasier, PBS Mystery "The Ice House." Good.

Bed, finished book. Good sleep.

 

Friday, Feb. 27, 1998

Awake 6:30. Ready 9:15.

Longs: BP, paper, pears.

Coffee at mall. 

Home 11:15. Papers, rested.

Kmart for lunch.

Albertsons: Cereal, soy milk up 10 cents.

Mail: Letter from Joan. 

Crossword, papers.

TV: “Stargate.”

Slept deep, funny dreams. 

 

Saturday, Feb. 28, 1998

Awake 6:30. Usual tea, read a bit.

Longs, xeroxed Visa bill. 

Library, little work. Man there!

To show, "Dark City." Not great, but good special effects.

Home 3:30, dined.

Tennis, Sampras won.