My Grandmother's Journals: November, 1995

My grandmother and her granddaughters.

Every day my grandmother wrote down what time she woke up, where she ate breakfast, what movie she went to see, what mail and phone calls she received, then what she read and watched on TV before bed.

In 1995, she was living alone in a mobile home park in Santa Cruz, Calif., but I wouldn't describe her as lonely; she was an extremely independent and persnickety woman whom I never knew to live with another person or even a pet. At 80-years-old she was still traveling alone, corresponding with people she met on those trips, and always keeping up with current events. (I wrote more about her life in an earlier post.)  

Close to her home was the famous surfing spot called Pleasure Point, and she loved walking to the ocean and watching the surfers. When she died, I took her ashes to those waves with a friend of hers and we each dropped some at the sand. A moment after I dropped mine, a surfer emerged from the water where I stood.

That was cool. 

In November of 1995, she was fretting about finding me a cat sitter, booking hotels for our upcoming trip to Europe, and again finding incorrect movie (or show) times in the paper.

October entries

Wednesday, Nov. 1, 1995

Rain in night.

Up 8:30 a.m., breakfast McDonald's.

Home, raked lawn. Seeded, fertilized.

Read Mrs. Pollifax Pursued, then cleaned more files. Tore bank statements.

Cloudy day, not too cold 

 

Thursday, Nov. 2, 1995

Awake 7, up 9. Breakfast Carl's, walked in mall. 

Bank, got $140. Home 11:40.

Returned jury (summons) asking for postponement. 

Read Mrs. P, ironed t-shirts and jeans.  

To McDonald's, got "apple pie." Over to mall for yogurt.

To Trader Joe's, got mayo and Caeser's salad dressing. 

Watched Geraldo, S.T. TNG, Poirot. 

 

Friday, Nov. 3, 1995 

Not good sleep. Pain in chest. 3 a.m. awake.

Up 9 a.m., to corner donut. Richard waved.

Home, put some summer stuff away. Read papers.

Watched tennis, X-Files, some news.

Bed, x-word. Slept good. 

 

Saturday, Nov. 4, 1995

Warmer today, awake 6, up 9!! To 41st Donut.

Gave Goodwill plastic bags, to library. Returned Mrs. P.

Home, tennis: Sampras vs. Courier. Good match, bad calls for Jim.

Called Justine re: assassination (of Yitzhak Rabin).

To Albertsons, McDonald's, got chicken and salad.

Justine up for Thanksgiving, to leave cat. No sleep, worried.

Sunday, Nov. 5, 1995

Awake most of night. Breakfast Kmart, pancakes. They have no calculators.

Home, found other calculator, was in new black purse.

Tennis, Pete Sampras over Boris Becker.  

49ers 7, Carolina 13.

Bed 9:30, read a bit. Slept good. 

Monday, Nov. 6, 1995

Breakfast McDonald's. Called kennels, rates high.

To Mary, Sandy there. 

Watched football, Dallas 34-12 over San Diego. 

Bed after Ted Koppel.

 

Tuesday, Nov. 7, 1995

Up 8:30, breakfast Carl's. Library, got info from Yellow Pages for SLO.

[She was looking up pet sitters for me in San Luis Obispo.]

Home, called SLO people, two possibles. Called, left message and wrote letter.

To post office, got stamps and candy. Got BP at Live Oak.

Took pix of Marco Polo book.

Slept fair.

 

Wednesday, Nov. 8, 1995

Awake 6, up 8. Breakfast BK, walked in that area. Warm.

Drug Emporium, got magnifying glass.

Home, warm. Tired, read papers. 

Looked in luggage, winter sweaters (5) small now! Need to wash. Fixed pads in sweater bought at Clothes Closet. 

Powell seems forthright, honest. Gingrich may run now.

 

Thursday, Nov. 9, 1995

Up 8:30. Breakfast McDonald's. Home after bank to check account.

Shower, hair. To Rebecca's for muffin/coffee.

Show, "Home for the Holidays," Holly Hunter. Good. 

To meeting for Blue Cross, home 4:15 p.m. 

Mail, letter from Mina. Returned cards and map. 

Friday, Nov. 10, 1995

Awake 6 a.m., tried to go back to sleep. Freda came by to say water off 12-5.

To corner donut, laundromat, washed wools and gray suit.

Housework, called Justine, she not even calling sitter. Resisting alternatives.

To Library, Frommers London.

Home 4:15, watched Rockford, news, ran tape of Columbo with Faye Dunaway. She the killer.

Some French, finished Get Shorty.

 

Saturday, Nov. 11, 1995

Awake 6, up 8. Breakfast McDonald's. Read papers for one hour. 

Penneys, Longs, got watch. $9.99. Large, with 24-hour numbers, seconds hand and Roman numerals.

To Gottschalks, got cotton jacket $25. "Teal."

To library, closed for holiday.

To show, "Persuasion." 1814? After Napoleon put on Elba.

Saw Mary at 3 p.m., she in pain still?

Watched Star Trek, A&E Rabin. News for 15 mins.

Sunday, Nov. 12, 1995

Up 8, watered lawn. Breakfast McDonald's.

Walked Capitola, sunny. Indian summer? No surfers, man with kayak.

Checked Pleasure Point, none. Few with boards looking. 

Raiders/Giants, 17-13, wind chill NYC 18 degrees.

News, bed. Can't sleep.

Monday, Nov. 13, 1995

Up 8:45. Breakfast McDonald's. Ronn Owens in Washington, D.C.

Walked Capitola, beautiful!

To TJ's, home 11. Justine called, will meet with pet sitter Wednesday.

Called travel agency regarding Chunnel.

Read papers. Football: Steelers/Browns, 20-3.

Watched Poirot, bit of news. 

Bed, tired, took aspirins. Slept good.

Tuesday, Nov. 14, 1995

Up 8:30, breakfast Lyon's.

Library, looked for investments. Zero coupons. No new Fodor's Go!

To show, "Blue in the Face." Good.

Home, papers, Rockford Files, news.

Missed NYPD Blue, taped Frasier. Funny.

Wednesday, Nov. 15, 1995

Up 6:50, called travel agency at 8:30, busy. Linda returned in five minutes, confirmed all times, air fare reduced to $638.75 from $673. Total air fare $1,277,50.

Chunnel $148, $1,425.50.

Breakfast, donut. Tennis, Sampras over Becker at Frankfurt.

Mailed postcards to Mimi, Sandra.

To Drug Emporium, got stamps for France. Home 2:40 p.m.

Read papers, watched Rockford Files. News, read Marco Polo book.

 

Thursday, Nov. 16, 1995 

Called hotel in Paris at 1 a.m., asked for 5 nights. Slept til 7:40 a.m.

Cold but sun out. Breakfast McDonald's. Home, tennis. Chang lost.

Wrote to hotel increasing to six nights and twin beds.

To post office, to Kmart, got TV Guide.

Home, news, read, ironed t-shirts. 

Watched Rockford Files, Geraldo, Poirot.

Bed. Took aspirin, slept OK.

 

Friday, Nov. 17, 1995

Fone regarding jury!

Up 9, breakfast BK. Walked in area. To mall, haircut, Richard stressed.

To library, post office. To mall, got "Blizzard."

Home, mail, just ads. Watched Rockford Files, X-Files.

Watched part of Dick Francis: Twice Shy. 

Bed 10:30.

Saturday, Nov. 18, 1995

Up 9, breakfast Carl's. 10 a.m. meeting at Live Oak re Prop 199.

Got coffee, brownie. 

To show, "Mighty Aphrodite." Good. Woman in theater dropped pen and address pad.

Stopped to see Mary, got salad at McDonald's.

Home, some French. Read "Paris."

Sunday, Nov. 19, 1995

Cold today. Up 9:30, breakfast McDonald's. 

Tennis, football. Watched S.T. Voyager, 60 Minutes, Cybill, taped Mad About You.

Bed, sore throat. Feels like tissue swollen.

 

Monday, Nov. 20, 1995

Stayed in bed. Up at 11, to corner for paper and coffee. Talked to man with straw hat til 1 p.m.

Home, read paper. Gargled a few times, throat better.

Football, 49ers won over Miami, 44- 20! Good game.

Sergei Ginkov [Russian ice skater] died, heart. 28 years old.

Watched Law & Order.

Tuesday, Nov. 21, 1995

Up 9, breakfast McDonald's. To library, Longs, pix of itinerary. 

Home, lunch, to Live Oak for blood pressure.

Called Justine, left message to call if coming up.

Watched Frasier, NYPD Blue. Justine called, will be here in the morning.

Couldn't sleep, read late.

Wednesday, Nov. 22, 1995

Justine here? Slept 4 -8. Justine called at 9, to Zachary's. Carol there.

Home 10:45, Justine slept until 11:15, out late last night.

Paid fone bill, Justine left at 12 p.m.

Rested, read "Touch of Treason."

News, Newt put foot in mouth. Blamed welfare for death of woman!

Throat still hurts.

News, checked NBC, had Alan Dershowitz!

Bed, slept good. 

Thursday, Nov. 23, 1995 [Thanksgiving]

Breakfast BK, mall closed. Walked a bit, watered lawn.

Lions 14, Minn. 38; Dallas 24, K.C. 12, Emmitt Smith knee injury.

To gas station, also Grey Bears. 

Watched news, S.T. NG.

Bed 8:30 but read, finished "Touch of Treason." 

Rested but couldn't sleep, finally 2 - 7!

Friday, Nov. 24, 1995

Up 7:30, to Ross, luggage small. Checked Penneys and Gottschalk's, Ross' best.

Got same as previous, but grey tapestry.

Breakfast Carl's, saw Lille. She had cataract, in good shape.

Home for little time, to show, "Nick of Time." Johnny Depp.

Watched Larry King, X-Files (2).

Saturday, Nov. 25, 1995

["Toilet acting up," written at the top of the page.]

Check with Clothes Closet.

Up 8:30 a.m., breakfast McDonald's. Put stuff in toilet.

To Mervyn's, bought black and blue knee highs. To Penneys, nothing.

Foned Clothes Closet, two items sold. Bring in silk pants and skirt.

To Town, ate brownie. 

To "Pickle Circus," enjoyed. Then 40 mins to McDonald's, parked in "Deadhead" lot.

Home 6:30 p.m., watched S.T. NG, part of "Frenzy."

Bed, read.

 

Sunday, Nov. 26, 1995

Up 7:30, breakfast McDonald's. Computers out.

Walked in Capitola, beautiful day. 

Football: New England vs. Buffalo, 49ers 44 - Rams 13.

Wrote letter to Mina, long. Preview of 60 Minutes, but didn't watch.

Cybill, taped Mad About You. 

Bed, 2:30 a.m. Foned New Aquarius - Egyptian.

Monday, Nov. 27, 1995

Up 8:20, Carol called. Meet her 1 p.m.

Breakfast Kmart. Returned 21 x 14 x 8 suitcase, got $21.62. 

Got black sox (2), TV Guide.

Home, wrote checks. To post office, mailed letters, got post card.

Mervyn's, returned hose, got refund. Got yogurt, pie.

Home, lunch, read. Football: San Diego 12, Oakland 6.

Watched Poirot, S.T. NG, Law & Order, Biography - Kellogg Bros.

Tuesday, Nov. 28, 1995

Late nite, something about Santa Cruz announced at 10 p.m., CH 2, but dropped it.

Up 8:30, breakfast McDonald's. Town, library.

Paper wrong, no show at 11:10, "American President."

Home, to Cathy's house, returned book on Paris, talked.

Packed clothes. To Clothes Closet, took silk pants, black skirt. Bring pink coat back in March.

Home, lunch. Watched McGyver, news, read.

S.T. NG, Law & Order, two Frasiers and NYPD Blue. Some news.

Wednesday, Nov. 29, 1995

Up 9, coffee and donut. Home, read, ate here.

To Carol's, talked til 2:45 p.m. Re: Bali, C and O. [C was her daughter and O her son-in-law. My parents met Carol and her husband while coming back on a ship from Europe after getting married, which is how they heard about Santa Cruz and why they moved there.]

To see Mary, she getting better, can take a step. Met Corky on way out, she to get radio.

Mail, got bank statement.

Watched Law & Order, end of Presumed Innocent.

 

Thursday, Nov. 30, 1995  

Rent. Up 8:30, breakfast McDonald's. Bank to safety deposit.

Trader Joe's, home, read some papers.

1 p.m. to show with Corky, "Carrington." Enjoyed film.

Justine called, got letter from friend Rebecca.

S.T. TNG, Law & Order, Mystery: Sherlock.

Two quakes today, near Hollister/San Juan Batista. 3.4, 3.8

Wrote Mervyn's and Sen. Feinstein.

 

December entries.

 

How did you know your spouse was the one to marry? I have two answers. But only one is the truth.

If asked how I knew my husband was the person to marry, I have two reasons. One is easy to explain, but the other is the truth.

I could just say that I knew we were compatible because we always saw through each other's defenses. While others believed his mask of cool, I saw the sweet, funny boy behind it. And while others were too wounded by my sarcasm to get very close, my husband had a shield for the spears.

That was cool.

But that's only the easy answer. The real reason is nearly impossible to describe.

We'd been dating maybe a week. I put my head on his chest and felt like ... I had found another pair of lungs to breathe with.

I didn't know I could ever feel so calm being so close to another human being, let alone so fast. I had dated other men, even lived with one for years. But I had never found that room where we could just sit and breathe, offering each other oxygen if needed. 

Only my mother had given me comfort and strength, and with her gone for 12 years by then, I had forgotten how it felt to not feel alone. But when I finally opened the door to another heartbeat, I knew the walls of my empty room would never be enough again.

And now, 23 years later, I'm even more grateful to have those extra lungs to breathe with. It seems every day this year the world has just gotten scarier; but every day I can still put my head to his chest, and get just enough strength to see if the next day will be better.

Of course if you ask my husband why he chose me, he'd probably say he didn't. That it was more like I wore him down, and I was just more tolerable than the rest. As he told a family member once, "I don't like women; I like Justine." 

And while that may not sound like a love poem to you, to me it's the most effing romantic thing I've ever heard. So yeah,  that's why we're married.

My Grandmother's Journals: October, 1995

With her daughter in Griffith Park, 1946.

Every day my grandmother wrote down what time she woke up, where she ate breakfast, what movie she went to see, what mail and phone calls she received, then what she read and watched on TV before bed.

In 1995, she was living alone in a mobile home park in Santa Cruz, Calif., but I wouldn't describe her as lonely; she was an extremely independent and persnickety woman whom I never knew to live with another person or even a pet. At 80-years-old she was still traveling alone, corresponding with people she met on those trips, and always keeping up with current events. (I wrote more about her life in an earlier post.)  

Close to her home was the famous surfing spot called Pleasure Point, and she loved walking to the ocean and watching the surfers. When she died, I took her ashes to those waves with a friend of hers and we each dropped some at the sand. A moment after I dropped mine, a surfer emerged from the water where I stood.

That was cool. 

In October of 1995, she was getting ready to take us to Paris and London by making reservations and brushing up on her French, still helping her neighbor Mary recover from a stroke and awaiting the verdict in the O.J. Simpson trial. 

September entries. 

Sunday, Oct. 1, 1995

Awake 6:30, up 8:40. Breakfast at corner. 

Talked to people driving to Tacoma, Bellingham. 

Signed card for Mary for Freda. She will take money to Mary.

Football: Dolphins/Bengals 26-23, 49ers over Giants, 20-16? Steelers over SD, 31-16

Freda called again. Mary asking for me? 

Raiders at Jets, 47-10. Cowboys lost to Washington, 23-27.

Fireworks at boardwalk, Santa Cruz's 204th birthday. [She taped a clipping from the newspaper into her journal.]

Watered lawn.

 

Monday, Oct. 2, 1995

Awake 7, up 9. Breakfast Carl's Jr. Looked in Gottschalk's, some good things, got gift for Yvonne B.

Mailed letter to Linda Drake, H. 

Looked up Heparin for Mary, she to speech therapy. 

No picture machine at Woolworth's, back to Mary, in physical therapy. Wants talcum powder.

Mail, letter from Mina. Mailed letter to Justine.

Hot!

Football: Bills over Browns, 22-19.

Geraldo, much discussion of upcoming O.J. verdict.

 

Tuesday, Oct. 3, 1995

Breakfast McDonald's. To Live Oak, got flu shot.

To Drug Emporium, got book, TV Guide, soap. 

Home, waiting w/ CNN for Simpson verdict. Jury decides Not GUILTY!

Dentist 11 a.m. All Okay. To La Selva library, closed. Open M-W-F, 1-5 p.m.

To Ross, got green sweater and cardigan.

 

Wednesday, Oct. 4, 1995

[At the top of this page she wrote: gluttony, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, wrath]

Awake early. Muffin at mall.

Read paper, walked a bit. Showered/washed hair.

To La Selva library, got two Pollifax books.

To show: "Seven." First couldn't hear, dark also. But fast, good direction. Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Kevin Spacey. [This must be why she was writing out the seven sins.]

Bio program on Joan of Arc was on (Judge) Lance Ito instead.

Bed early, slept good. Had bad reaction of dizziness. Lecithin too potent?

 

Thursday, Oct. 5, 1995

Breakfast McDonald's, walked in parking lot.

To bank, checked balance. Trader Joe's, to library, read description of drugs.

Home, lunch. Mail, letter from Mina.

Various chores, watched Geraldo. He sad O.J. free, he felt O.J. guilty.

Watched few minutes of new Mystery, didn't like. Bed, read.

Friday, Oct. 6, 1995

Woke 2 a.m., read until 3:50 a.m. Up 9, breakfast BK.

To laundry, home 11 a.m. To Ross, exchanged green sweater. (Pockets out of line).

Post office, mailed gift to Yvonne B., $5.33 parcel post.

Ironed some t-shirts. Thelonious Monk. Five Spot?

X-Files, Boring?

 

Saturday, Oct. 7, 1995

Up 8:30. Breakfast Carls. Mall walk.

Watered lawn, raked a bit.

Wrote letter to Yvonne B. 

To show at 41st, "To Die For." Nicole Kidman, Matt Dillon. 

Read papers, watched news, baseball. Dodgers lost 10-4, out of playoffs.

Watched, "The General Died at Dawn," Gary Cooper, M. Carroll. 1936. I never saw it!

Bed 11:45 p.m., slept good.

Sunday, Oct. 8, 1995

Up 8. Breakfast McDonald's.

Walked, groceries at Albertsons. 

Dallas vs. Packers, surprise Colts over Dolphins.

To Carol's display of works [art show], purchased vase, $30.

Checked with Mary, home 5:30 p.m.

Watched 60 Minutes, Cybill.

 

Monday, Oct. 9, 1995

Up 8:30. Breakfast McDonald's.

Home, wrote Andra and Lutz. To Capitola Post Office.

Called La Selva library, open. Got books, returned others.

Football, Kansas City won over San Diego, very good game. 

OT, punt returned by Tamarick Vanover. 29-23.

Tuesday, Oct. 10, 1995

Up 9 a.m. Breakfast Lyons.

Drug Emporium, TV Guide, AA batteries.

Library from 11:30 to 2:30, got 3 books. 

Ate at Erik's Deli, soup and pie. To show "Kids." Gross.

Home, mail from Penneys, Emporium.

S. C. Hardware, got knife and spatulas.

Watched Morse 6 -8. Baseball: Mariners over Indians.

News: Amtrak accident in Arizona yesterday.

 

Wednesday, Oct. 11, 1995

Up 9:15, slept good after 3 a.m. with ear plugs and aspirin!

Breakfast McDonald's, called Lyon travel re Chunnel.

Wrote Mina, Carla.

NBC announced cancellation of O.J. interview because of civil suit, can't answer questions.

Baseball: Seattle vs. Cleveland 5-2.

Watched A&E re 1964 Civil Rights murders, part of Geraldo.

Finished Caravan for Mrs. Pollifax

Thursday, Oct. 12, 1995

Awake 8, up 9. Watered lawn, showered/hair. (Freda asked re nail??)

Donut/coffee, to Longs for pix [photo copies] of Casanova (book).

Trader Joe's, home, groceries and papers.

Civic Auditorium, got ticket to Vietnamese water puppets.

Watched A&E bio on Gore Vidal.

Friday, Oct. 13, 1995

(Hot weather!)

Up 9:15, breakfast Kmart. Got gas, looked for Thyme, none.

Home, read all back papers. Watched Rockford Files.

Mariners vs. Indians, Mariners won in OT. Braves over Reds.

Some Geraldo, taped Bravo on Sarah Vaughn. One daughter, four marriages.

X-Files, news. Fire in Oakland.

Bed 11:30 p.m., slept fair.

 

Saturday, Oct. 14, 1995

Up 9:15, breakfast McDonald's.

To Albertsons and bank, walked a bit.

Computed rent increase, $9.35 depending on CPI.

To Hill Haven, Mary having therapy. To library.

Home 3:30, baseball at 4 p.m. Indians over Seattle, 9-0.

Watched some French videos.

Sunday, Oct. 15, 1995

Up 7:45 a.m., to Burger King. Me alone for 15 minutes, 6 to 7 men, one other lady.

Home, gardening. Cold starting!

Stayed home, 49ers lost by one point! Young hurt.

Dallas won, Dolphins lost, Marino hurt. 

Got McDonald's sundae, light out at end of street.

Watched DS9, 60 Minutes, Cybill, one hour of "The Great Kardinsky," Richard Harris.

Monday, Oct. 16, 1995

Not good sleep, cold!

Up 8:15, breakfast McDonald's. 

Told manager light is out, she replaced.

Home all day, took Dristan. Read papers and book, rested.

Watched Rockford Files, football: Denver vs. Raiders! D won 27-0. No shot of Davis?

11:35 p.m. Letterman, Cybill/Joe Montana.

Tuesday, Oct. 17, 1995

Woke 2 a.m, then 5, slept til 9. Breakfast at Carls, bran muffin. Saw Lilly, she 40.

Compiled info on Casanova for Carol, lunch here. Mail, fone bill.

Read papers, Rockford Files, news, baseball: Cleveland over Seattle.

Star Trek TNG, favorite two-part with Mark Twain.

Watched Frontline, Waco, "new"  tapes for FBI.

Bed, tired. Visited Mary about 3:30 p.m.

Wednesday, Oct. 18, 1995

Up 9 a.m., breakfast McDonald's. Read paper, home, lunch

To show, "Strange Days." Loud, 2000 LA in chaos, based on police killing blacks. Felt director inferring LA on edge of anarchy.

Home 4 p.m., read, watched news.

Boston Orchestra at Cargenie Hall. 

Bed, tired. Static on radio!

Thursday, Oct. 19, 1995

Awake 8, up 9. Fog. Corner donut, got croissant.

Haircut, Orchard Supply Hardware, two plants, nozzle and adapter plug.

Home 12 p.m., ate cereal.

To Drug Emporium, got Mylanta, to Radio Shack, got AC filter for radio. 

Back to OSH, traded plugs. Spent most of day on errands, plug for radio.

Watched ST TNG, football: Bengals 27 over Steelers 9. Good game. Jeff Blake, black quarterback.

Read, watched Charlie Grace. Radio static.

Friday, Oct. 20, 1995

Awake 7:30, radio static. Up 9, breakfast Kmart.

Home, trouble with accounts. Washed car, used cleaner.

Watered west lawn, fertilizer, pots. 

Lunch Carls, chicken. Took AC filter back, got refund. 

To library, read, got 2 books. 

Got gelato, to Civic Auditorium for Vietnamese Puppets. Charming puppets, well-done. Music interesting.

Saturday, Oct. 21, 1995

Mervyn's bill $28.12, due 10/23

Up 8:30, breakfast McDonald's. Crowd at same time.

Cold, misty. Some streets wet. Home, read papers until sun appeared.

2:30 lunch at BK. Then to Boardwalk, fun arcade. Four photo booths open all year.

Home, World Series. Atlanta - Indians, 3-2. Fonda and Ted there. [Jane Fonda and Ted Turner]

Watched ST TNG, part of Victor, Victoria. Bed, tired.

Sunday, Oct. 22, 1995

Penneys $21.64, due 10/25 Pd. Sat.

Cold but sunny, awake 7:30, up 9ish.

Ate here, 49ers vs. St. Louis Rams, 44-10. Bears 35 to Oilers 32, Chiefs vs. Broncos, 21-7.

Rain, snow in Denver. Elway can't throw in rain.

Watched baseball, Atlanta 4, Indians 3. [She wrote Braves 3, but that's the same team.]

Watched part of 60 minutes, Cybill, Prime Suspect.

Monday, Oct. 23, 1995

Up 8:45, breakfast McDonald's. Home, talked to woman til 11. Wants roses, she also likes travel, opera.

Justine called, OK for itinerary [for Europe]. She may be here Nov. 22 on way to Mechele's, told her about Paris bombings. She got amethyst t-shirt in mail.

To show "Get Shorty." To Albertsons.

Football, Patriots vs. Bills 24-14.

Cybill repeat, bed, read a little. 

Tuesday, Oct. 24, 1995

Cold, turned on heat. Up 9:15, breakfast donut shop.

Home 10:30, planted sage. Grass cut by landlord.

To mall, xerox article on France, got $100. Paid Sears, bought two washclothes and notes for Christmas.

Visit Mary 2:30 to 3 p.m., Sandy there. 

World Series, Indians won 7-6 in 11th inning. Bill Murray hit last RBI.

Taped NYPD Blue.

Wednesday, Oct. 25, 1995

Sears $37.01 due 10/27. Pd. 

Up 9, donut and pear. Library, returned 2 books, read a bit of Barrons.

To Wherehouse, got "Age of Innocence." 

Home, watched video. World Series, Atlanta over Cleveland, 5-2.

Watched part of Julie Andrews story, Mad About You. LAPD review - Gates!

Thursday, Oct. 26, 1995

Cold night. Up 8:30. Breakfast McDonald's.

Called Clothes Cottage [consignment shop], took over sequin blouse, pleated black skirt (Hong Kong) beige blouse and jewelry for sale. Got $10.

To show, "Scarlett Letter." Background Nova Scotia, beautiful scenery!

Home 4:30 p.m., World Series: Cleveland 5-4.  Hershiser, Maddux mad, lost it. HR in 1st inning.

Watched part of Law and Order, Poirot, news.

Friday, Oct. 27, 1995

Up 9 a.m., breakfast Lyon's. Walked a bit in lot.

To Trader Joe's, home 11.  

Read papers. Warm today, napped.

Watched Rockford Files, watched news and X-Files, not too good. Circus people.

Tired, slept good.

Call Sy tomorrow?

Saturday, Oct. 28, 1995

Set alarm to call Sy! Turned off, up at 9 a.m.

Called Sy at 9:30 here, 5:30 there [in France]. They changed to regular time already. He changed appointment for eye operation to Nov. 14.

Breakfast at Burger King. To show "Get Shorty" for second time. No music for most of time.

To library, Lucky for groceries. Home, watered back.

Mail, bank statement.

Watched John Larroquette, (old), news. Baseball: Atlanta won 1-0.

Bed early.

Sunday, Oct. 29, 1995

Listened to Chris Clarke [on KGO]. Party in SF last night, "Exotic Erotica," two guys masturbating on "Concourse." 

10 a.m., Dallas 21 vs. Atlanta 13, 49ers vs. Saints,  11-7, two injuries, Brent Jones and Floyd, both had knees twisted.

Watched  Streetcar Named Desire, Jessica Lange, Alec Baldwin. Jessica very good.

Monday, Oct. 30, 1995

Rent. Awake 6, up 8. 

Breakfast at Country, limited menu. Poached eggs just right, potatoes parboiled.

To mall, looked for beige turtleneck, none.

Foned for dinner at Live Oak, tomorrow Halloween parade and Bday party, not going.

Football, Bears - Vikings, 14 - 6.

S.T. Voyager. Bed.

Tuesday, Oct. 31, 1995

Quebec referendum, 50.6 no, 49.4% yes.

Up 8, breakfast McDonald's. To Longs, laundromat.

Home 10:45, some housework. To donut/coffee.

To Ross, got turtleneck, Cinnamon.

To Library, got Mrs. Pollifax Pursued.

To show "Copycat." Scary.

To main library, returned Casanova.

Home 5 p.m., ate here. Taped "In the Woods," watched The Client, Frasier.

November entries

 

The Bird Club: Chapter One

Chapter One

That girl who thought her first kiss was the worst thing ever? 
April would give anything to be her again. 
That boy who trapped her in a parking lot to get it? 
April would do anything else he wanted if it meant she could go home to her mother again.

She only went out with Randy because he wouldn’t stop asking. And when some waffle cone batter spilled on her jeans the tenth time she tried to get rid of him by saying, “OK, lick that off my leg and I’ll go on a date with you.”

She figured it would be like when she dodged a boy in junior high by agreeing to go steady if he bought her a purple pony.  
“A real pony, not a toy. And it has to have been born purple, not dyed.”

But Randy was given a pony he could deliver. And that feeling as he hopped over the counter, got down on one knee and licked her leg? If that was dating, April decided it might be fun after all. 

And riding on his moped had been fun. Until he parked it and he said, “We’re not getting back on until you kiss me.”

Stupid breasts. April blamed them more than Randy for this. Before they arrived, boys like him had just left her alone.

She tried ignoring the uninvited lumps until a girl ran past April during P.E. class chanting “boing, boing, boing” with her hands cupped to her chest. Once her friend Amy explained what the girl meant, April decided it was time to get a bra.

April also decides to just kiss Randy so she can leave the parking lot. And maybe picturing the kiss between Pony Boy and Cherry in The Outsiders like she does at the bathroom mirror will help? 

She leans her face toward Randy, hoping real lips might give her tingles like the movie does. They don’t. April freezes with regret and fear as soon as their mouths touch.

“You kiss weird. It’s like you’ve been practicing on the back of your hand or something.”

How could he tell? April feels heat rushing up her neck and hopes for once it won’t turn her ears red.

“I’m just kidding.” Randy pokes her ribs with his elbow, flipping April’s shame to anger. First he forces me to kiss him, then makes fun of how I do it? I gave up a night with my mother for this?!

Weekends are the only times April can relax with her mother. Usually when Evelyn sees her in the living room she says, “If you have time to sit, you have time to dust.” Or, “Is your homework done?”

But on Saturday evenings, April is allowed to just lie on the couch and stare at the ceiling while Evelyn reads. The only light comes from the desk lamp, the only sounds the turning of pages and a spoon clinking on her metal ice cream bowl.

Thinking of her mother gives April courage, so she stands up and demands they leave. Randy looks at his watch. 

“Yeah, we probably should. And I guess I can call that a kiss.”

April would kick him in the shin if she didn’t need him to drive.

Not until Randy parks the moped again does April remember that the last person on Earth she would want to see her on a date works at the theater.

“Hey, April,” says Seth, who will be sitting behind her in Driver’s Ed on Monday after watching Randy drape his arm around April.
 
“Two adults, please,” says Randy, grandly pulling a $20 from his wallet. “Don’t think she’ll pass for 12,” he adds with a laugh, giving April’s shoulders a squeeze and making her want to die. 

At their seats April slouches down to hide from anyone else she might know, which invites Randy to put his hand on her thigh after she props her knees against the seat in front of her.

“Be careful with Randy,” she hears Kim telling her at work before he came to pick her up. “Maybe don’t wear a skirt, you know?”

“Yeah, right,” said April, having no idea what she meant until Randy’s hand perched on her leg like a smug bird, but not asking any questions because she didn’t want Kim to find out yet that she wasn’t cool. 

Kim only talks to April because they go to different schools, so she doesn’t know to ignore April like all the other cool girls.

April also didn’t tell Kim that she doesn’t even own a skirt, because no one in her house wears them. Her mother used to, but all April sees her wear now are slacks to work, and jeans or shorts on the weekends. 

And her sister Hannah? She’s even less of a girl than April.

Hannah has one skirt she wore once after spending hours of red-faced misery at the mall shopping for her junior high graduation dance, finally settling on a long-sleeved white blouse and a long cotton skirt. 

When April went with her mother to pick Hannah up, she saw her sister “dancing” in a corner of the gym with another girl,. As she watched her long hair flipping from side to side as she hopped awkwardly from one foot to the other, April knew Hannah would never date a boy. 

Evelyn must have known the same, because later she asked Hannah if she had danced with any boys.

“No.”
“Do you like boys?”
“No.”

I don’t like boys either, April thinks as Randy’s hand begins moving down her thigh.

“Is this OK?”

She wishes she could say no and push his hand away but she doesn’t, and spends so much time tracking the hand’s distance from her underwear that when the lights come on, she can’t remember a thing about the movie. 

At least she wants to go home so badly that she has forgotten to care what Randy will think of her house, though he will only see it at night, when you can’t really tell how small and old it is, or see the jungle of weeds and blackberry bushes in the front yard.

Randy parks his moped behind her mother’s little Honda station wagon in the carport and April can see inside the kitchen, which has a glass door between two big windows. Her father is sitting on the wine barrel behind one of the windows where his transistor radio gets the best reception. 

“Is that your dad?” 

“Yeah,” April says as her father moves away from the window. She wishes he’d come outside to get her, but she knows he’s just giving them privacy. 

“Kiss me. Bet you won’t kiss me in front of him.”

Just wanting to go inside, April leans toward his cheek, but he turns his head.

“No. On the lips.”

April looks at the smirk on his mouth. Nope, I’m never doing that again. She turns and runs up the brick path to the kitchen door, calling over her shoulder, “Thanks for the movie.” 

She opens the door and breathes in her kitchen, vowing to never leave her house for a date again. 

“You’re home early,” her father says.

She wants to throw her arms around his stomach and bury her head in his chest, but she just nods and bounds up the stairs to her mother, who is sitting at her desk.

 

Chapter Two