Why I tipped the guy who sold me coffee. And am so glad I did.

As usual, the last time I went to my favorite local coffee joint, a pastry caught my eye.

Before buying it though, I had an important question: “The scones that say strawberry-orange — does that mean they are strawberry or orange, or strawberry and orange?”

The man behind the counter chuckled and said, “I think they are all strawberry and orange.”

Sold. And when it came time to pay, his friendly chuckle inspired a response from me that wasn’t usual: Adding a tip for counter service.

That was cool. Because soon I was very grateful I hadn’t been my usual stingy self — when I tried to leave, I found a car parked directly behind mine.

“Are you sure they’re blocking you? Maybe you can still get around them,” said another man behind the counter when I reported my problem.

“No, they are parked directly behind me, I can’t get out,” I said, and the man who sold me the scone then approached the tables to ask who owned the car blocking mine.

"That’s me,” said a young man sheepishly. “There was nowhere else to park.”

After a brief pause he added, “My bad,” then hurried out the door to move his vehicle.

I thanked the employee and left, feeling very grateful for his help, but even more grateful that I had given him a tip earlier.

Let me be clear: I don’t think he helped me because I tipped him; I think he’s a naturally friendly dude who would have helped regardless. I’m saying I’m glad that his friendliness dissolved my cheapness, saving me from spending the rest of the day kicking myself for being such a scrooge.

He also very likely saved me from something worse: An embarrassing scene that would have shamed me a lot longer than my guilt. Since I doubt the guy parked behind me would have moved so promptly if it were just me asking, I likely would have lashed out in frustration, so I’m glad the calm guy behind the counter did the asking for me.

I’m even grateful for that screen prompting me to tip. I know many people find them annoying, but they’re good for people like me who often find themselves unprepared to tip even when we want to.

Like the time in high school when my friend and I went out for burgers and didn’t have enough money to leave the waitress a proper tip. Yet, when I left my sunglasses on the table, she still came running out after us to give me them, showing no sign of bitterness about our stinginess.

I can still see her handing over my glasses, and can still feel the guilt about the handful of coins we left on the table for her. But now I don’t feel guilty about not tipping the friendly guy who sold me a strawberry-orange scone, and that is worth every extra penny.

Photo caption: The pastry case at Black Oak Coffee Roasters in Ukiah.