Finding peace after pain: The walk that helped me heal after the sudden death of sweet Sasquatch

Smiling under the Cool Oaks. (Credit: Nathan DeHart)

The morning after my cat Sasquatch died, a friend suggested we walk at the Abhayagiri Monastery in Redwood Valley, Calif.

That was cool.

 

Because I can’t think of a better place to heal after that horrific night, which wasn’t the first time I lost a pet, but it was the first time one keeled over from a heart attack right in front of me and died howling on the kitchen floor.

 

And I was especially heartsick that Sasquatch, the most forgiving soul I’ve ever lived with, spent his last moments in such agony, his sweet face forever frozen in a scream.

 

But I was soon grateful for two things: First and foremost, that his pain ended very quickly; second, that my pain was eased as soon as I stepped onto the paths at the monastery. 

 

And while I find all trails lined with trees, flowers and water to be restorative potions, the monastery’s mix of nature was a particularly potent brew, with the warm hug offered at Sun Meadow, the soothing waterfalls at Hawaii, and, my favorite, the Cool Oaks, which did what I thought would be impossible that day: made me smile and even laugh a little.

 

Photo by Nathan DeHart

Another blessing about that walk was how it filled me with curiosity about the place I just fallen in love with: Who made these awesome trails? Who named that lush corner Hawaii? And, most urgent: Did the Cool Oaks earn their name because the trail is much cooler under them, or because they’re, you know, just really cool?!

Fortunately, a kind person named Nyaniko, one of the senior monks at Abhayagiri Monastery, answered all my questions, explaining that “the trails were built by the monastic community over many years, with help from both hired workers and volunteers, and we maintain them ourselves as part of our monastic lifestyle.”

As for the Cool Oaks, that spot “got its name because in the summer it would be about 20 degrees cooler there, with its year-round stream, and it has some very large oak trees.”

 

“Hawaii got its name because my parents lived in Hawaii for 15 years, and the two streams coming together with the moss reminded me of some places in Hawaii.”

 

Coolest of all, though, is how Nyaniko told me that while the trails “are entirely on our (private property), about 10 years ago we decided to allow people to come and walk on the trails, to enjoy the beautiful nature and wildlife within the monastery boundary.”

And I could not be more grateful for that. Because now whenever I think of Sasquatch again, I can picture those Cool Oaks above me and smile. 

And yes, I like to think that makes Squatchy smile, too.

 

Cool update: A former co-worker read this piece and reminded me of the time his dear dog keeled over suddenly while sitting with him on the couch, then died on the way to the vet clinic. I remember my co-worker coming back to the office afterward, then hearing him sob at his desk with his shoulders shaking.

"Justine, you came to my desk and consoled me and rubbed my back. I will never forget that day and your kindness."