But I missed her too much to stop. And, as my world implodes around me, I find I need her precise predictable one even more to help me stay sane.
So I’ve gone back to the safety of grandma, who wrote down every day when she woke up, what she ate for breakfast, any mail she got and what movie she went to see before settling down with the television and a crossword puzzle as she readied for sleep.
That was cool.
Because I love reading her journals. And not just because she was my grandmother, but because I love all of the details this frugal and persnickety woman shared about her days. And maybe you will, too?
The entries below are from February of 2000, when she was an 84-year-old woman living alone in a trailer park. But don’t feel sorry for her, because she wasn’t sad, and neither was her home — she was the most fiercely independent person I have ever known, living in one of the most beautiful places I have known: Santa Cruz, California.
(I wrote more about her life in this post)
Tuesday, Feb. 1, 2000
Up 7:30. Slept good. Warmer, sun.
Radio still on Alaska Air crash.
Out 10 a.m. Drug Emporium, fruit stand.
To Ross, got rag rug. Plus fairy philodendron plant.
Home, Murder, papers.
Called Schwab. 200 UMG sold yesterday at 80. Paper said 79.50 close!!
To post office, cost $6 to send registered! Before I sent “certified.”
Home, TV, worked on contact paper.
Bed 11.
Wednesday, Feb. 2, 2000
Up 8, usual breakfast.
Call from Quest re changing long distance.
To McDonald’s, coffee and read papers.
To Aptos, could not find Dr’s. Home, called on phone.
Murder She Wrote 1-2, more time on contact paper.
Mail: Got trade conformation from Schwab.
TV: JAG after news, Law & Order, West Wing.
Bed 11. Sleep 12-2-4.
Warm, sunny day.
Thursday, Feb. 3, 2000
Up 8. Cold. Ready by 11.
To Dr’s, ordered glasses. $187.
Ate KFC. Rainy & windy.
Pebble Beach closed. WIND.
Home, wrote letter to Mina after M. She Wrote.
Mail: Bill from Waste Management, wrote check, balanced cash.
TV: News, Lehrer, JAG. L&Order, A&E Casanova.
Bed, news at 11.
Friday, Feb. 4, 2000
Up 8. Cold. Breakfast usual.
Packed vitamins.
To Kmart. Gasoline, ate breakfast.
Home, tried to Schwab for check. Can’t get thru, 10-20 min waits.
MSW, Mail: Postcards from Carla, Mimi, voting mail for Primary.
Called Justine, got cassette of soundtrack of Sweet & Lowdown. Good, clear.
Justine put song on tape.*
TV: News, JAG, bed after L&O.
Rest 9-10:30, 11 news & crossword,
Sleep 12-4-8.
* I was learning to play the guitar by taking a class at the local community college, and grandma asked me to record myself playing a song and mail her the tape. So I played "If I Were a Carpenter," and boy do I wish I still had that recording, because I sang it, too!
Saturday, Feb. 5, 2000
“The Others,” 10 p.m. Ch. 4&8
Up 8, breakfast usual, some chores.
Out 11, Albertsons. Rain in early hours.
Lunch here, watched golf til 2:30.
To library, on Internet 2:30 to 3. Sent message to Justine, another to Carla, told both about blood donor changes.
Home. bedroom doors, cut contact paper.
Played tape “Sweet & Low.” [Justine here: No review of my song!]
TV: News, paper, crossword, “The Others,” 11 news.
Not good sleep, ate cereal at 2. Up 4-6-8
Sunday, Feb. 6, 2000
X-Files, 9 p.m. 2 part.
Up 8:30, breakfast usual. Chores.
Bank: Card to bank, not working.
Ocean Street, coffee/donut.
To show, “Topsy Turvy,” 2 hours+ [Actually it was 2 hours and 40 minutes!]
Mailed Calif taxes, paid Gottschalk’s.
Home. Ate, watched Ebert, interview with Clinton.
Tired, but watched news at 10, 11.
Sleep 12-2-6-8
Monday, Feb. 7, 2000
Up 8, breakfast usual. Wrote letter to Mimi.
Bank to get new card. Old expired.
To Carl’s for coffee.
Home, some weeding.
Mail: Penney’s, Schwab, card from H. She thanks me for money? For Christmas/New Year
Balanced checkbook, lunch, M. S. Wrote. [Her pen broke, different ink now]
Finished contact paper on doors of wardrobe.
Usual TV.
Bed 9, no sleep til 12:20. Up 2, then 6.
Goofed on form again, typed it.
Tuesday, Feb. 8, 2000
Up 8. Cold. Breakfast oatmeal w/banana.
Filled in form for new account.
Shower/hair.
To Drug Emporium, Trader Joe’s, McWhorter’s, bought stamps.
To KFC, got sandwich to go.
Lunch at home, news.
Justine called 7 p.m. (dinner). She taking time off, going Sunday to SF to watch whales. Back to work next Wed.
TV: Law/Order.
Bed, 10 & 11 news, sleep 12:15-2-6:30.
Wednesday, Feb. 9, 2000
(9 p.m., Ch. 9, Greek's Civilization, “West Wing” 9 p.m. Tape one).
Awake 6:30, up 7:30. Raining/mist, all streets damp.
To laundromat, Longs for Xerox, Ralph’s for muffins.
Home, faucet is much worse. Called Dinnell, he answered. 4 p.m. appt.
Wrote to Justine & H sending update.
Dinnell early, 3:15. Took 15-20 mins, $72!!
TV: JAG, L/O, West Wing, news.
Rain in nite. Paid Visa.
Thursday, Feb. 10, 2000
Up 8. Breakfast oatmeal.
Raining. Washed some, exercise.
To Drug Emporium, McWhorter’s, Xerox.
To Aptos, lunch at KFC.
Expected to see “Eye of the Beholder,” but lights out in Aptos, cancelled show.
Home, man here to get Frida's place ready to be moved! Could not get in, he very nice, moved.
Mail: Check from Schwab
TV: JAG vs. men’s skating.
Bed late, no sleep. 1 a.m. took melatonin.
Friday, Feb. 11, 2000
Up 8:30. Breakfast: Toast, tea, fruit.
To bank 10:30, deposited check.
To Gottschalk’s, looking for pants. No find.
Home, called Schwab, called Treasury. 30 year closed.
Mail: Schwab ad, Visa (retd), Sharon Stone (retd).
To post office, sent stocks registered mail.
TV: M. She Wrote, Lehrer, L/O.
Made order for vitamins, from PP, $108!
Rain most of day, very heavy. Santa Cruz Mountains flooded. Stopped about 5 p.m.
Read, crossword. Bed, slept 12-1-4-7.
Saturday, Feb. 12, 2000
Up 7:30, oatmeal. Read papers, finished crossword.
To Drug Emporium for paper, TV Guide, cookies.
To Radio Shack for battery for calculator.
To post office to change stamps. No, can not!
Home, rain spotty.
Wrote Mina, golf & tennis.
Paid cable, then to library. Messages from Justine and Carla.
Home, called Justine. Not there, Chris to leave message.
Justine called 7 p.m. Sick, bad weather. No whales. [Justine here: I posted my journal entry all about that horrible whale-watching trip below.]
9 p.m. Ice skating, National Championship.
Bed. No sleep.
 |
| Sailing toward the Golden Gate Bridge on a bumpy SF Bay. Photo by Nathan DeHart |
Here is my journal entry describing a miserable whale-watching trip on the choppy San Francisco Bay (2/12/2000) written a week afterward:
We pile on the boat after a hefty trek to the dock and a stop for all the women to go to the bathroom. I find a warm, dry place inside next to the skinny tourist guy drinking tea, but go out to look as we glide under the Golden Gate, it was pretty spectacular.
Then it got so horribly bad... The sheet said to avoid alcohol and get plenty of rest and I had done neither, and though it had stopped raining, thank god, it was choppy, the boat weaving and pitching and jumping, and I started to feel queasy, started getting real ill, but I refused to be the first at the back of the boat.
I waited and waited, and soon this woman in red ran to the back, and a while later I went, throwing up all the pretzels I had eaten that I thought would settle my stomach, thought my stomach was empty, but I threw up again and again, the guy William going back and forth between us, asking if we were all right, giving us paper towels to wipe our mouths.
At one point there were so many of us standing at the back of the boat we were elbow to elbow, trying not to barf on the person next to us; some humiliation at people so close, but the need to puke was stronger.
Soon it was just dry heaves. The guy next to me in bright yellow says, “Fun, isn’t it?” I look at him: “No.”
Read the rest of that trip, and my other journal entries for February, in which I describe getting a call back for a job at the San Francisco Chronicle, trying (and hating) my first Cinnabon, here.
Now, back to Grandma:
Sunday, Feb, 13, 2000
Up 8. Raining most of day.
10:40 a.m. called Mina, talked about skating last night, etc.
Deaths: Chris Schully, yesterday, in his sleep in Santa Rosa; Tom Landry, X-coach Dallas, w/leukemia, yesterday.
Golf: Tiger almost got up, but Mickelson pulled ahead.
Taped Jefferson and Sally Hennings.
Sleep after news. Good sleep 1-4-9.
Monday, Feb. 14, 2000
Up 9. Breakfast tea, toast, applesauce.
Chores, out 10:30.
To Longs after walk on East Cliff. Very strong tides, only two surfers, one in to his ankles. Second got out, but came back in.
Home 12:30. Lunch, M.S. Wrote, Lehrer.
Mail: 1, Schwab, 2, NCE.
Shower/Hair.
TV: News, JAG, L/O. Raymond, Becker.
Late news: Surfer missing, West Cliff?
From Sat. 4 p.m. to Sunday 4 p.m., 4.34 inches of rain in Santa Cruz Mountains.
Tuesday, Feb. 15, 2000
Up 7:30, breakfast oatmeal.
To Kmart for lunch, groceries.
To Ross, got plaid pants, brown/black. (Dry Clean Only!) 14 petite, $12.63.
Home. Mail: IRS estimate, Master bill.
Usual TV: Lehrer, news, JAG, A&E Bio Nat Cole. Washed clothes in between.
11 news, sleep 12-2-4-6:30
Rain started 9 a.m.
Wednesday, Feb. 16, 2000
Up 9:30, oatmeal breakfast.
Checked bank balance, wrote checks for H & Justine. $55.97 each. To post office, mailed.
To Longs, bought tickets, $5 + $1.
Forgot candy, went to Ralph's.
To McDonald’s for coffee.
Home rest of day.
Mail: Ads from Waste Management.
TV: M. She Wrote, Lehrer, news, JAG, L/O, West Wing.
Ran Thomas Jefferson, taped second part.
News 11, bed 12.
Thursday, Feb. 17, 2000
Cold, used heating pad. Stayed in bed til 9:30.
Breakfast oatmeal. 10:45? Andra called from Paris. She going to visit parents 3/31 to 4/11, I can stay in her apt!
Wrote Myra with newspaper pix of wood on beach near boardwalk.
Looked for three-ring binder, none with exact holes I need.
To show, “Stuart Little.” Story dumb, but animation remarkable.
To Nob Hill, got 12 items.
Mail: Fone bill, ad
Friday, Feb. 18, 2000
L&Order Special, 9 p.m. Also 9 p.m., “Now & Again,” John Goodman.
Up 9:30. Breakfast.
Wore beige to get a hat. Warm, sunny.
Read paper.
To Ross, got hat.
12:30 to Scotts Valley. Lunch Wendy’s
To show, “Galaxy Quest.” Enjoyed.
Home 5:30. Mail: Check from Schwab,
TV: News, JAG, L&O, taped “Now & Again,” part 2 of L&O Special.
10-11 news, “Cold Water Classic,” O'Neil’s!
Saturday, Feb. 19, 2000
Up 8:30 (from 4)
Sore throat. Used salt, Listerine.
To post office, mailed letter to Mina.
To McDonald’s for coffee.
To Nob Hill. Got pot pies (2), soup, muffins.
Home. Golf, read papers, crossword, etc.
Packed vitamins, ate here.
Mail: Ads.
Sewed socks, tried organizing Treasury docs.
Ran “Now & Again.”
Bed 12-2-4-8. No REM
Sunday, Feb. 20, 2000
Up 8. Breakfast toast, fruit, tea.
Read papers, figured Cap Gains for stocks.
Wrote letters to Andra and hostel. (Hold for few days).
To post office. Bot stamps, mailed voting materials.
Back to mall, paid J.C. Penney, got candy.
Raining, the donkey tails fell over.
Cleaned out files, department stores, telephone, T Bills.
TV: Mozart, X-Files.
Monday, Feb. 21, 2000
Up 8:15, breakfast oatmeal, chores.
Ready 10:30, to Ocean Avenue.
To show, “Boiler Room.” Good lesson, selling fake stock.
Home 3 p.m.
TV: Lehrer, L/O, news, JAG, Becker. Third Watch?
Thinking a lot of buying out girls’ money.
No sleep. 3 a.m. had soup/muffin.
Read RLS, sleep 4 a.m.
Tuesday, Feb. 22, 2000
Up 9 a.m. (First 7). Not hungry. tea/toast.
High wind, rain forecast.
Sister Grace visited. Manager told her to move car.
To Trader Joe’s, got paper, etc.
Home noon. News, cold coming on.
Mail: Card from Myra, credit union.
Home all day, rain off and on. Some hard, hail.
TV: 2 JAGs, part of “Laura.”
Watched 10 news in bed, no 11.
Sleep 1-3-8
Wednesday, Feb. 23, 2000
Up 8, breakfast oatmeal. Out 9:30.
Drug Emporium, TV Guide.
Bank, ordered new ATM card. 7-10 days.
Mail: Adverts.
To library, emails. Carla & Justine, who is looking for another job. Applied at Santa Rosa. Got new email.
To Aptos, got new glasses. Got sandwich at KFC.
Home. Talked to Ellie, she selling again.
Bank balanced OK, H not cashed check.
TV: JAG, L/O, West Wing, news.
Forecast Monday OK, Tuesday showers.
Thursday, Feb. 24, 2000
Up 9. Breakfast fruit, tea, 1/2 muffin.
Chores til 11:30.
Got gasoline, paper.
Home. M. She Says. All kinds of trouble: Tape or channel?
Wrote Myra and Mimi, mailed letters to Andra and Paris hotel.
Mail: Letters from Mina and Myra!
Usual TV: News, L/O, JAG.
Bed 9:30, news.
Sleep 11:15, 1:20-3-8
Friday, Feb. 25, 2000
Up 8. Freda’s mobile home taken out, double-wide put in about 10:30. Good job?
Shower/Hair (cut)
Justine called, called back. Decided to meet Monday. She has interview Tuesday at 11 a.m. w/Chronicle, 90 mins.
Got gasoline, 1.499. Up 10 cents.
Raining. Home remainder of day.
No sleep til late.
Mail: Got bank statement, balanced OK.
Saturday, Feb. 26, 2000
Up 8. Usual breakfast.
Stayed in to keep warm, watched golf.
Tried to rest, called Myra to chat. She has someone to clean. Raining there also.
Woods won his match, over Davis Love, he wearing lovely top, pants.
Rain heavy about 11 a.m., wind in Salinas
Some TV, most junk.
Up at 2, hot chocolate, 1/2 muffin.
Mail: Card from Mina.
Sunday, Feb. 27, 2000
8 p.m., Greek Civilization, CH 6
Up 7:20, bed til 8:30 heat.
Some showers. Feel better, energy level up. Organize tomorrow.
Same breakfast. Chores, golf.
Get ready for tomorrow [She was meeting me in San Francisco.]
Neiman-Marcus vandalized, 2:30 a.m.
TV: X-files, taped Magic Kingdom.
Bed, 10 news, sleep 10:30 12-2-5. Good sleep.
Monday, Feb. 28, 2000
Get up 7? Take Amtrak 8:55 a.m. Take car, leave at station.
Arrived 8:15 a.m., arrived SJ 9:50, train 10. (Use restroom).
Arrived SF 11:31, take Judah line.
Up 6, 6:15 oatmeal.
To bus 8:55, cancelled. 9:55, hour late.
Talked to woman, arrived 12:30. What to do?
To Carl’s Jr, can’t find it.
(Gave dollar) to homeless man, took me to Carl's. Justine there!
Got lunch, Chris came to get her. Changed mind, went shopping at Liz Claiborne.
Got her pants 88.50, skirt 69, scarf 28, 10 percent discount 18.55, total 166.95 plus tax, $181.14.
J to ferry, me to bus.
Home 6:30. JAG, L/O.
Tuesday, Feb. 29, 2000
Call Justine later.
Up 7:30, breakfast oatmeal. Raining.
To mall, met Lili. Talked a lot, she 88. 2 Reno trips, then April Laughlin, Hawaii.
Had coffee, muffin.
Home, wrote rent check.
To bank, got $200.
To KFC, no pot pies.
Called Justine, not there. Talked to Chris.
Ate dinner, usual TV: 2 JAGs, read papers, etc.
Bed, slept OK. Cold in night.
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