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| My husband posing with my grandmother, right, in 2012. |
Since it was December, we drove around after dinner looking at everyone’s Christmas lights. At first, my grandmother sat quietly in the passenger seat, but after my husband made a few turns she didn’t agree with, she finally asked, in a polite tone I didn’t recognize: “I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but do you know where you are going?”
I know how he felt meeting her because he still chuckles about it, but unfortunately my grandmother didn’t write any impressions of him in her journal that day, only mentioning that we had an expensive dinner (in a small place!!) downtown. And since she never said anything to me about him, either, I never knew what she thought of him, always assuming her impression was not good because she never said anything nice about him.
But soon after she died, one of her friends told me that not only did she like my husband, she really liked him, as in “he was the kind of man she would have been attracted to when she was younger!” I’m still not sure how I feel about her having a crush on my husband, though I suppose it is better than thinking she didn't like him, especially since he was so good about taking care of her when she got much older and needed more and more help.
Though she didn’t write much about my husband-to-be, thankfully she did write plenty about the rest of her daily life, noting each morning what time she woke up, then recording all her meals, any phone calls and mail she received, and if she went to see a movie before settling down with the television and a crossword puzzle before bed.
That was cool.
Because I love reading her journals. And not just because she was my grandmother, but because I find all of the details this frugal and persnickety woman shared about her days to be a relaxing and comforting tonic. And maybe you will, too?
The entries below are from December of 1999, when she was an 84-year-old woman living alone in a trailer park. But don’t feel sorry for her, because she wasn’t sad, and neither was her home — she was the most fiercely independent person I have ever known, living in one of the most beautiful places I have known: Santa Cruz, California.
I wrote more about her life in this post, or you can see her journals and hear her life story in this video:
Along with meeting my husband-to-be in late 1999, she watched a lot of football that month, checked a lot of emails at the library, and was keeping a close watch on news reports about the pending "Y2k" disaster as the year 2000 quickly approached.
Wednesday, Dec. 1, 1999
Not good sleep.
Up 8:30, breakfast usual.
To Albertsons for milk, jam, peanut butter. Made 1/2 sandwich with.
To library. Got Leaves of Grass, checked email.
Justine sent two messages: One a report of one lost, another re History of NYC.
TIRED. Home.
TV: M.S. Wrote, Lehrer, Due South, JAG.
Bed 8:30.
Up 10:55, watched 11 news. Up 2:30, 4:30, 7:30.
Thursday, Dec. 2, 1999
Put infra heat on knees, works good.
Swept for cobwebs on ceilings.
First walked on cliff. Saw Fred (X-Mas, he said).
Got paper, to Credit Union for calendar. Different.
To Kmart, got purse. (Black). Also got ear muff.
Rainy. Stopped by mailboxes, too busy. Left.
Home, lunch. CNN, MSW, Lehrer.
More heat.
Bedroom, Due South, JAG.
Too warm to sleep. Up 2, 5, 8.
Friday, Dec. 3, 1999
Give pkg of clothes to Goodwill.
Up 8, out 10:30!
To Longs, got soup.
To Orchard, got heat lamp for Sister Grace.
Home, CNN.
Mail: Letter from Myra.
To show, "Sleepy Hollow." Special effects.
To Kmart for blue purse.
Saturday, Dec. 4, 1999
Not good sleep. Took melatonin about 2.
Up 8. Tea, no bananas.
To Longs for cholesterol. 193, good.
He said his father bribed man for passing grade on driver's test. Also talked to another "Yvonne."
To Penney's, got blue purse and beige, sleeveless sweater.
To KFC. Home 2 p.m., rested til 3.
To library first, message from Justine. Sent to Carla.
Home, ate here, ran more of NYC history.
Bed 9, crossword.
Sunday, Dec. 5, 1999
Justine & Chris? Or tomorrow.
Awake 5:30. Cold, and dark.
Up 6:30, Usual breakfast, no bananas.
Shower, haircut.
Ate sandwich.
Football: 49ers vs. Bengals, 44 to 30.
Justine called, left message: dinner! They will pick me up so I don't have to drive in the dark.
TV: Ebert, news, a little bit of Patrick Stewart in Xmas Card.
Bed, awake 11, watched news.
Slept heavy til 2:30. Back to sleep til 8, drowsy.
Monday, Dec. 6, 1999
Up 8:15, usual; breakfast. Bananas green.
To bank for balance, Kmart for gas.
To Thrift Shop, Bazaar. Bought two items, talked to man.
Home, changed. Watched more NYC.
Chris and Justine arrived.
To Santa Cruz bazaar, got plate. Ate, $61! at small place on Cedar.
Looked at lites, home.
Dateline, took melatonin.
Tuesday, Dec. 7, 1999
Awake 6, then 8:45. Usual breakfast, out 10!
Sister Grace arrived, gave her heat lamp.
Finished letter to Myra by 11:30.
Lunch, news, wrapped pkg to Justine: NYC and C's pix with note.
To Drug Emporium and post office.
Paid Visa, drove a bit to find large houses.
Home. Put black enamel on bumper.
Read papers til news, no Due South, old Law & Order.
Mail: Card from Pearl.
Wednesday, Dec. 8, 1999
Up 6, usual breakfast.
To laundromat, Drug Emporium and Trader Joe's.
Home, tired. Read papers, crossword, etc.
Usual TV.
Slept afternoon, not much, still tired.
Rain forecast tomorrow.
Bed 10. L&O, 11 news.
Rain in night.
Thursday, Dec. 9, 1999
Up 7, usual breakfast.
Walked West Cliff.
To bank, took out $300.
To Kmart, home 12:30.
Read papers, threw away some items.
TV & papers. Bed 10:30.
Friday, Dec. 10, 1999
Slept good, 11:30 to 6. Up once!
Breakfast usual, ironed.
Wrote check to cable co, letter to Pearl.
To McDonald's for coffee, Live Oak not open til 12 on Friday.
To Branciforte library, checked email. Message from Carla, did not get results of blood test for herpes yet.
Talked to man, liberal. "Jim Hightower."
Home after stopping for sandwich at KFC.
Mail: Package from McCoys with coffee, biscotti. $8.95??
Did washing, crossword. Read papers.
To bed, slept fair.
Cold.
Saturday, Dec. 11, 1999
Up 8, usual breakfast*
Read more papers, out 10:30.
To Kmart, got 4 more Dinty Moores, a Santa Claus on skates.
To Grey Bears, youngsters in magazine cage looking for bikers mags. Said BMX is a stunt bike!
To donut shop, veg market.
Home. Also got paper for shelves at Kmart.
*Used heat lamp
Myra called. Had been to doctor, pain in chest. He recommended 1/2 lemon, TBL honey, hot water. Wants to see her in two weeks.
Started shelf paper on bottom shelf.
TV: Christmas Card, Patrick Stewart.
Sunday, Dec. 12, 1999
Up 7:30, usual breakfast.
Put papers on 2nd, 3rd and 4th shelves.
1 p.m. Stimson called. In Meadowwood "hospital."
Called Mina to relay info.
Football: Colts won over Patriots, 49ers won over Atlanta, 26-7.
Shower, hair.
TV: Ebert, 60 Mins. Good. First segment, "gays" in military.
Bed, X-files. Took melatonin.
Monday, Dec. 13, 1999
Up 7, ready 8:30.
To laundromat, McDonald's, Longs.
Home, wrote 5 cards: Sy, Mimi, Andra, Yvonne and Sandra.
To post office, got stamps.
To KFC, got pot pie.
Home. Murder S. W., Lehrer, L/O, news, Due South, JAG, Law & Order at 9.
Crossword, etc. Sleep good.
Took diuretics, 900 mg. Too strong?
Cold, but sunny.
Tuesday, Dec. 14, 1999
Awake 6:30, heat on. Up 8.
Read papers, chores.
Larry knocked. Blew fuse using extension cord.
To Drug Emporium. No TV Guides, checked BP.
Got two items for water bowl: scuba diver and dolphin.
Home. Lunch., M.S.W., chores. Cold.
No Due South, watched JAG, 60 Mins II.
Bed 9 p.m., tired. Two hours sleep, 11 news.
Slept 4-8.
Wednesday, Dec. 15, 1999
Up 8, breakfast usual.
Some chores, cleaned cabinet.
To Drug Emporium for TV Guide and batteries.
To Kmart for lunch.
Blockbuster, got two videos.
Home 2 p.m. M. S. Wrote, Lehrer.
To library. E-Mail from Carla, replied.
Mail: Cards from McCoys, Linda Drake.
TV: Due South, JAG. Forgot West Wing.
Bed, crossword.
Thursday, Dec. 16, 1999
Awake 5:30. Took Valerian. No bad effects. Cold tho.
Usual breakfast and toast.
Wrote Stimson, to mail box.
To cliff, flat and kelp. Young man said that keeps sharks out.
Groceries at Way of Life, home.
Vacuumed a bit.
M.S. Wrote, Lehrer, L&O (rerun).
Mail: Card from Sandra, fone bill. Checked, call on one.
TV: JAG, Usual Suspects, 8-11.
Bed, V. Good sleep.
Friday, Dec. 17, 1999
Up 8. Called AT&T re $4.25 charge. $4.71 reduction.
Called bank, $1 off.
Usual breakfast. Heat, chores.
Brought “poly nuts” to mail box.
To Scotts Valley, got coffee at croissant at bakery. Good.
To show, “The Straight Story.”
Home 2:30 p.m. Usual, no Due South.
Sent card to Justine.
TV: JAG and L&Order, bio of Tony Perkins.
Bed, no M/V. Good sleep, 2-4-8
Saturday, Dec. 18, 1999
Up 8, cold.
Changed paper on first shelf of linen closet.
Got pkg ready for Goodwill: Robe, purse, ear muffs, pill box, etc.
Mail: Gottschalk's, another “gold” card from BofA. Mail back or forget it?
TV: PBS Showcase. Good art show.
Sunday, Dec. 19, 1999
Up 8:30, usual breakfast. Crossword.
Returned videos to Blockbuster, mailed letter to Justine.
Ate at Burger King.
To Orchard, got new battery. $6.68 + tax, 7.31
To show, “007.”
Got groceries at Albertsons, home.
Finished shelves.
TV: Ebert, 60 Mins, nothing interesting. 9 p.m, news same as earlier.
Cold.
Monday, Dec. 20, 1999
Up 5:30, breakfast 6. Chores.
To Goodwill at corner, Grey Bears, Trader Joe’s.
Home 9:30, coffee.
10:25, Furnace man here. Too much oil.
TV: News, M.S. Wrote, Lehrer, papers.
Mail: Adverts.
TV: Due South, (saw, Boxer), JAG, etc.
Bed early. OK sleep.
Tuesday, Dec. 21, 1999
Up 6, usual breakfast. Ready early.
Waited for Sister Grace, gave her small radio and extension cord. Larry interrupted!
To Drug Emporium, BP and TV Guide.
To town, thrift shop and Logo’s. Checked for RLS.
To OSH, got duct tape.
Mailed card to Myra.
Wednesday, Dec. 22, 1999
Three BPs at Drug Emporium, Kmart, Nob Hill: 148, 152, 155.
Got groceries and fruit at stand.
To McDonald's, home.
Put plastic on west window in bedroom.
News at lunch, Murder S.W.
Changed paper on third shelf, also two drawers.
TV usual: News, Due South, JAG.
Read, crossword. Not good sleep. Music.
Thursday, Dec. 23, 1999
Up 7. Usual breakfast.
Chores, read some paper.
Cleaned under bathroom sink, changed paper. Lysol, hole into heater.
To Drug Emporium for paper.
Walked from J.C. Penney's to Blue & Gold, got some vitamins. Walked back.
Mail: Card from Myra, John Mark. Pkg from Justine. Cat fish or cat bird?
Called Justine, out. She rang back, charge on her!
TV: Same, some X-Files.
Put washing in car. Bed.
Friday, Dec. 24, 1999
Up 6:44. Cold.
Washed PJs, decided not to wash clothes.
To Drug Emporium, got BP.
Walked to laundromat, no sign closed tomorrow.
Bought sea horse and angel fish at McWhorter's.
To Hollywood Video, got Notting Hill. Roads very busy.
Watched Notting Hill video.
TV: Due South (new to me!), X-Files, also new to me.
Bed 10:30, 11 news. Slept OK.
Saturday, Dec. 25, 1999
Up 6:30, usual breakfast.
To usual Laundromat, closed. Homeless man there.
Walked cliff, high tide.
To Laundromat on Portola, one man there. Talked, he read book on NYC. Homeless six years, then to computers and TV.
Home. History Channel, Roman Empire. Very good.
Bed 11, good sleep.
Sunday, Dec. 26, 1999
Woke 5:30, thought garbage wasn't out. Back to sleep.
Up 8:30, breakfast usual. Chores.
Walked on cliff.
To Wendy's, sandwich.
To show, "Galaxy Quest." Very good, some clapped.
Home, football: 49ers vs. Redskins, 49ers up for 3 quarters, 20-20 tie, OT. Redskins scored TD.
Ran Notting Hill again.
Bed 11:30, sleep OK.
Monday, Dec. 27, 1999
Up 8:30, usual breakfast. Some chores.
To Kmart for gasoline, lunch Burger King.
Home, M. She Says, Lehrer.
To fruit stand, Longs for BP, soup and cards (Xmas).
TV: No Due South, JAG, L&O.
Bed. News, crossword. Slept 12:30 to 1:30, 2:30 to 4, then 8.
Tuesday, Dec. 28, 1999
Up 8, usual breakfast.
V's, got Relaxing Tea.
To Ross, got 2 scarfs and brown/blue jacket. Looks black trim, can be black. $18.44
To library, email msg from Carla.
Home, lunch here.
Mail: Andra and Treasury.
TV: Murder S.S., Lehrer.
Some papers, JAG.
Watched Notting Hill again.
Bed 1:30-4-7
Wednesday, Dec. 29, 1999
(Give watch for repair).
Up 7, breakfast usual.
To bank, got $300. Returned video.
To Drug Emporium, got paper, TV Guide.
To cliff, walked.
Home 11, washed some underwear.
Lunch, struggled with squash.
Some TV.
To jewelry store, left Timex for repair. $15, gave $5 deposit.
To Albertsons, got groceries, croissant.
Home 4 p.m. Bank still off $1.
TV: News, JAG, opera, Marriage of Figaro. MET, Cecilia Bartoli.
Thursday, Dec. 30, 1999
Up 8, breakfast usual.
Radio full of "Millennium." Out of our hands.
To show, "Woody Allen, "Sweet and Lowdown." Sean Penn. Good, wonderful music. Buy transcript!
Home with KFC. Murder She Says, Lehrer.
Worked on bathroom.
Mail: Bank statement, letter from Myra.
TV: Ballet, papers.
Friday, Dec. 31, 1999
To Longs, BP out of order.
To Kmart. BP, got applesauce, new drape traverse rod.
Checked BP at Nob hill, grocery stores mobbed.
Home, ate here, 2 meals.
TV: JAG, then Cirque de Soleil.
Read papers, crossword til 12 a.m.
More work on doors in bathroom.
Bonus: Grandma's list of remarkable events in 1999:
Gene Siskel (Roger Ebert's partner in movie review show dies 2/20/99. Brain tumor
(Fong drowned November 1998, eye doctor)
Joe DiMaggio died of lung cancer 3/8/99
Joe Williams died in Las Vegas 3/29/99 80 years old
Myra moved to Santa Maria 3/30/99 (Sold to Mark Burns).
Mary Cooper died in rest home 4/11/99 (Frida called 4/12)
Justine operation appendix Thursday 6/10/99 All OK
July 20- JFK Jr's plane lost, found bodies next day
Aug. 1 - met "Zen Monk" in library.
Foned dentist Ramirez 8/5/99, appt 8/30, 3 p.m.
8/6 Cyst on right side of face broke.
9/3 Took Ellie to bank, she 77, husband 79, married 55 years, she never worked.
9/13 Husband died. Very ill, always smoked.
