My Grandmother's Journals: November, 1996

Grandma in Paris.

In tiny notebooks, my grandmother wrote down each day when she woke up, where she ate breakfast, any movie she went to see, any mail and phone calls she got, then what she read and watched on TV before bed.

In 1996, she turned 81 while living alone in a mobile home park in Santa Cruz, Calif. But I wouldn't describe her as lonely; she was an extremely independent and persnickety woman whom I never knew to live with another person or even a pet. (I wrote more about her life in an earlier post.) 
 

Close to her home was the famous surfing spot called Pleasure Point, and she loved walking to the ocean and watching the surfers. When she died at age 97, I took her ashes to those waves with a friend of hers and we each dropped some at the sand. A moment after I dropped mine, a surfer emerged from the water where I stood.

That was cool. 

 

She began November of 1996 in Paris, visiting her friend Mimi and going to museums, cemeteries, ballets and the opera. After she came home I joined her for Thanksgiving that year, and we attended a holiday gathering at the donut shop she went to each morning.

October entries.

Friday, Nov. 1, 1996 [In Paris]

Up 8, looked for bank. Forgot, one almost across street.

Ate “quick.” To show, “Secrets and Lies.”

Got salad and tarte. Throat starting to hurt. 

Walked to hotel.

Washed clothes, balanced book. 

Slept good. Sore throat.

Saturday, Nov. 2, 1996

Got paper and card for Sy $3! Postcards for 1 F, postage 4.40. Mailed Sy’s card, 3 F.

Yvonne called, grippe. Can't make it! Told Phillipe to tell me.

May call Monday.

Could not find 30 bus, took Metro, ate.

To hotel.

Sunday, Nov. 3, 1996

Tennis. Walked to opera.

To hotel, changed top.

Watched three games.

Got grapes, ham and candy.

Balanced money, OK. 

Tired.

Monday, Nov. 4, 1996

Yvonne may call, Mimi called.

Slept good. Breakfast at 8.

Mailed letters to Mina and Justine.

Took bus, then Metro to opera.

Rested in afternoon, read or crossword.  

Got grapes.

Bed to read.

Tuesday, Nov. 5, 1996 [Election Day]

Up 7:45, got paper. Women said “Clinton.”

Paid maid 20F? Got plug for sink, 7F

Forgot address book, took 40 mins to find Mimi, asked at grocery.

At pharmacy, woman phoned Mimi, finally got in! Lovely dinner, etc.

Metro out at night, walked. 

Wonderful day.

Wednesday, Nov. 6, 1996

Mimi called. Wanted to make chicken soup. Very nice. 

To opera. 

Got food, also to pharmacy, got Vick’s Vaporub. 

Windy and raining.

Rested. 

 

Thursday, Nov. 7, 1996

Called Sy and Mimi after eating.  

Sy wants to sell stamps, Mimi invited me to dinner.

To Pére-Lachaise cemetery, saw Simone Signoret, Yves Montand grave. Many flowers.

Did not find Jim Morrison Grave. 

Ate poached eggs, spinach, tarte.

Raining. Looked at curtains.

To Sacré-Cœur (Sacred Heart). Lovely. Many tissues on statues there.

Got brandy, food.

Friday, Nov. 8, 1996

Ate McDonald’s.

To Embassy. Couldn’t get in.

Walked a bit, got batteries.

Rained. 

Got grapes and candy.

Not good sleep. 

 

Saturday, Nov. 9, 1996

Up a lot. Washed underwear, shirts.

Looking at curtains again, then to exposition at Hotel de Ville. Very interesting!

Rested at hotel.

To Mimi’s, left gift. Bought sandwich, tarte.

To Metro to expo, closed Saturday!

To Marche St. Germaine. Bought Man Ray plate.

To hotel 4:15 p.m.

 

Sunday, Nov. 10, 1996

Lunch at Mimi's. Take brandy and hot water bottle!

Pay more rent, Phillipe not here.

To Louvre. Saw Caravaggio, DaVinci’s Madonna. 

To Mimi’s. Raining.

Talked about trip, pix. Arsenic killed Napoleon, French say cancer.

Foned Mimi, went there and back because forgot soc. The woman gave me free one.

Hotel, got candy.

Monday, Nov. 11, 1996

Caravaggesque, British. Different!

To Picasso, line too long.

Walked, looked for video. Not sure it will run on USA.

Rainy, can’t find Marks & Spencer?

Walked a lot in rain!

Tired, ate sandwich, slept!

Tuesday, Nov. 12, 1996

Get ticket to ballet?

To Taipei Exposition.

Ate delicious tarte, lemon. 19F

Got sandwich. To hotel, rested.

To ballet, good.

Walked a bit. Blind man on bus?

Wednesday, Nov. 13, 1996

Feel good, slept, sandwich too much.

Took pix of Phillipe.

Metro, to opera. Asked about buying ticket ahead?

To Mimi’s. Tea, cookies!

To Louvre, got video.

Got sandwich. To hotel, packed.

Thursday, Nov. 14, 1996

Return, arrive SFO 2:45 p.m.

House key in pocket with calculator.

Taxi, then bus to GdG. No coffee again!

Book, “Reflected Glory: The Life of Pamela Churchill.”

Greyhound to Santa Cruz, bus to home, 9:30 p.m.

10 p.m. news.

 

Friday, Nov. 15, 1996

Breakfast at Dunlap’s.

Home, put items back, trimmed plants. Phila grew.

Elastic band off mailbox??

To Post Office, got mail, sorted. Most campaign mail or ads.

Got girls’ checks ready, Mary brought rent receipt by, talked 1 hour.

Watered plants with rain water, swept patio.

TV: News, Geraldo, Grodin. 

Sunday, Nov. 17, 1996

Awake 2 a.m. Chris Clark radio and x-word.

Talk of Texaco, Jesse Jackson, Sharpton rhetoric.

Breakfast at 5:30, back to sleep until 11.

Car won’t start, damp air.

Football, other things.

To corner for coffee. Men said to heat distributor.

49ers won. 

Monday, Nov. 18, 1996

Awake 3 a.m., KGO.

Ran tape from last night, good story with Russian mafia.

Showered, washed hair.

Put hair dryer heat on distributor — worked!

To corner, talked to man with white dog, ran away. His wife not good, still smokes.

Kmart, got turkey sandwich to go!

To show, “Ransom.” Exciting.  

Foggy. To Longs, got “D” batteries, TV Guide.

Bed 6:45. Football started, but too tired.

 

Tuesday, Nov. 19, 1996

Awake 2, back to sleep til 4:30. Up 6:15.

To laundromat, coffee and toast here.

OSH, got another flashlight. Cheap.

Corner, many people. V invited me to Thanksgiving with Justine. 3 p.m.

Spread seeds.

Bought new watch, $10.01 

Rained hard.

Thursday, Nov. 21, 1996

Up 7:30-45. 

To Longs, got thumb tacks, rubber tips, tissues.

To corner, talked to Bruce, another man. Films, olden times, etc.

Rain started. Library, three books.

Longs, looked for mints, no luck.

Rain in night, up 3 to 4 times.

 

Friday, Nov. 22, 1996

Awake 4:45. Stayed in bed until 7:30.

Got paper to heat car.

To show, “Stark Trek: First Contact.” Good, but had to leave near end. Man outside asking for opinions. Said good, applauding at end.

To Sears, got 2 bras.

Saturday, Nov. 23, 1996

Awake 4 a.m. Cleaned one box of travel, Canada.

Cold, read a bit. Some food early.

To Penney’s, walked around mall. Got black velvet turban.

Talked to lady with cane. She going to NYC with daughter. Buying hat.

Home, figured tax basis for AT&T.

To corner, showed money: France, Britain, Hong Kong. Ate donut!

Sunday, Nov. 24, 1996

Talked to Mina.

Breakfast Kmart. Walked half hour.

Home, housework.

Football, tennis. Sampras won over Becker. Both men exhausted!

49ers over Redskins in OT.

Graf over Hingis. Both limping yesterday.

Read P.D. James, taped PBS.

 

Tuesday, Nov. 26, 1996

Food at Live Oak. Forgot!!!

To Carmel after coffee, gave Lee Chinese spoon.

Ate in Seaside at McDonald’s.

Bought cards for Mimi, got X-Mas cards.

Thought lost hair comb, then found flashlight behind blue pillow, and comb.

Finished “Original Sin.”

Wednesday, Nov. 27, 1996

Laundromat. To corner, coffee.

Trader Joe’s, gave pumpkin pie and cheesecake to Monty.

Library, returned Original Sin.

Looked at travel maps, folders. Threw away some.

Washed clothes, ate here.

Carol called, she does not like Thanksgiving. 

To corner, Lee, Dave, me. Had chocolate donut. 

Called Justine.

Thursday, Nov. 28, 1996

Justine up, between 1 and 3.

Up 7:30. Got paper. To corner, not as busy as usual.

Housework, football. Marcus Allen 112 TD, Payton 110, Emmett 107.

Justine here 2 p.m. To corner 3:10. Pearl late with turkey/cake.

Yams good, took turkey, clam chowder.

Left 4:30 to 5:15 “Star Trek: First Contact.” To Santa Cruz Coffee.

Taped “My Fair Lady.” (On a.m., not p.m.)

Friday, Nov. 29, 1996

No sleep. I had Justine’s coffee, she had my chocolate.

Up 2:30. Ate toast, some fruit.

Breakfast Zachary’s, Long’s, got her a watch.

She left about 10:30. Me rested, read remainder of the day.

Did nothing constructive, like writing Sy or Sandra!

Some TV.

Saturday, Nov. 30, 1996

Up 7:30. To donut. Checked bank balance.

Wrote Sy and Sandra. To Post Office, mailed both.

To Kmart.

To show, “English Patient.” Sometimes hard to follow because of flashbacks.

Scenes in Tunisia, sands in lovely shapes, “Cave of the Swimmers.”

Long show. Home after grocery store.

Mail: Letters from Prudy, Mimi.

Rained.

 

December entries.

Mom wouldn’t buy him a gumball machine, so boy makes one out of Legos

Harvey and his gumball machine.

Six-year-old Harvey wanted a gumball machine, but his mom didn’t want to buy it.

So the boy got out his Legos and made one instead.

That was cool.

 

“It took him an hour, and it worked,” mom Sarah said of the machine Harvey built. “It was simple and brilliantly done. But then he went on to redesign and make two more the next day. Then he made an egg beater.”

“He is smart in ways I have never been, and I love that so much,” she said of the boy whose father is a civil engineer, though she admitted that Harvey’s impulses can also be “irritating, because he often wants to do things he shouldn't be doing. Full of the spirit of life, he stubbornly keeps trying to get what he wants — always, selfishly himself, no apologies.”

 

And as exhausting as it may be to keep up with him, Sarah above all admires his inexhaustible determination to bring his wishes to life. “I am very lucky that I get to be with Harvey,” she said.

Even cooler?

Harvey was born on the day my mother died, turning what I've called "death day" for decades into his birthday. In that way, he has become my spirit animal.

See Harvey with his creation:

Stop the car, there's a Historical Landmark!

Sign on Highway 20 in Penn Valley.

On our first road trip together, we had the “Scones Incident.”

“Could you get me a tall coffee?” my husband asked that morning outside a Starbucks in Barstow, Calif. 

But when I came back to the car, I was holding only my coffee.

“Where’s mine?” he said.

“Oh.” I held up the bag in my other hand. “I got distracted by the pastry case. There were scones!”

He shook his head and laughed.

 

That was cool.

 

Because two decades and countless miles later, I’m still getting distracted by scones, only now they are Historical Landmark signs.

“Wait, ‘World’s First Long-Distance Telephone Line?! Can we check it out, please?!” I cried while we were heading down Highway 20 near Grass Valley earlier this year. I had no idea there was such a thing in Northern California, and now I had to see it.

A bit miraculously, my husband agreed to head up Pleasant Valley Road to French Corral, the tiny town where the telephone line had been strung. But although there’s really nothing else in French Corral except a few houses and a cool, barn-like Wells Fargo building, we could not find that telephone line marker, despite driving by it twice that first day.

I figured I’d never get to see that telephone line, but on our way home from Grass Valley the next day, we passed the sign again and my husband sighed. “Do you want to try again?”

I sure did! And this time we crawled down that road once we reached French Corral, our eyes peeled, and finally I spotted the marker, barely bigger than a mailbox with no sign next to it.

But it is right next to someone's driveway, which is probably why it’s so hard to find. Maybe there used to be a sign, but whoever lives there took it down, sick of people like me looking for that “dang marker,” pictured at right.

Finding that historical landmark took two days and 40 extra miles on narrow, winding mountain roads, but I was so happy to see it, and even happier that my husband had offered to drive me there.

Because years earlier he threw a fit when I wanted to make another side trip. We had stopped at a park to pee the dog on the last leg of another road trip when I saw a short trail of Donner Party historical sites, but my husband did not want to wait for me to hike it. Granted, he had just spent the last two weeks driving us to Yellowstone National Park and back through snow and the dog’s explosive diarrhea, and he just wanted to get home. But the trail would just take another 15 minutes. And when would I be back there again?

I did walk that trail, but my husband wasn’t happy about it.

 

So it was that much cooler when he offered, twice, to try and find another historical site. I guess he finally has completely given into “Scones.”

My Grandmother's Journals: October, 1996

Grandma at her friend Mimi's flat in Paris, October 1996

In tiny notebooks, my grandmother wrote down each day what time she woke up, where she ate breakfast, any movie she went to see, what mail and phone calls she received, then what she read and watched on TV before bed.

In 1996, she turned 81 while living alone in a mobile home park in Santa Cruz, Calif. But I wouldn't describe her as lonely; she was an extremely independent and persnickety woman whom I never knew to live with another person or even a pet. (I wrote more about her life in an earlier post.)  

Close to her home was the famous surfing spot called Pleasure Point, and she loved walking to the ocean and watching the surfers. When she died, I took her ashes to those waves with a friend of hers and we each dropped some at the sand. A moment after I dropped mine, a surfer emerged from the water where I stood.

That was cool. 

 

In October of 1996, she was planning her next trip to London and Paris alone at 81, not watching the debates between Bill Clinton and Bob Dole, and still struggling to get enough sleep without taking Melatonin, though I don't know why she was resisting.

September entries.

 

Tuesday, Oct. 1, 1996

Awake early, some housekeeping. 

Ate Rebecca's Muffins.

Checked with Greyhound, only 1 bus from airport.

To library, got another French conversation tape, read papers.

Worked on clothes, put summer clothes away.

Mail: Ads only.

Called Mina,no answer. She called back, talked long.

Fair night.

Wednesday, Oct. 2, 1996

Awake 7, up 9. Walked 30th to 36th. Muffin at corner.

"Slurry" on parking lot. Not many customers.

Worked on albums, destroyed many pix, combined 7 & 8 into one.

Orioles over Indians, Dodgers vs. Atlanta. 

Gave Larry 2 wool sweaters; Ellie needed plumber, toilet overflow.

TV: News, Star Trek. 

Good sleep.

Thursday, Oct. 3, 1996

Up 9. Shower, hair. To corner.

Kmart, got another cardboard storage box.

To show, "First Wives Club." Funny, good lines. Goldie Hawn, good at timing. 

Home, ate here! Dodgers lost again to Atlanta.

TV: Mystery, Alan Bates. Funny dialogue.

Albums 9, 10, 11, 12. Trips, cards. 

Bed 11. Up 3 & 6.

 

Friday, Oct. 4, 1996

Dozed. Up 9:30. Breakfast Kmart.

Home, worked on watches. To Longs, got new battery for silver watch. 

Washed some things.

Social Security announced a "glitch." In 1984 I rec'd payment of $658 retro.

TV: News, Sliders, X-Files!

Sunday, Oct. 6, 1996

Watered lawns. Dug out avocado, rose. Put rose in pot.

Muffin at corner. Warm. 

Bank, got $200. Trader Joe's.

Packed summer shirts & some blouses in new cardboard box. HOT.

49ers over Rams, 28-11.

Debate Clinton & Dole, did not watch. Watched P&P instead.

Monday, Oct. 7, 1996

Hot again. Head sore.

Called Mary Clarke, she has Caller ID.

Some work on clothes, hangers.  

Walked on cliff, no breeze.

Hard Copy had marriage certificate of JFK Jr. Showed 19th of Sept.

To bed. Hot, very uncomfortable. 99!

Tuesday, Oct. 8, 1996

Up 8. Ate here. To Longs, got TV Guide, Lotto. No single rolls of TP.

To mall, read paper. Cool there.

To Kmart, got veg soup, chocolate cake.

To show, "Bound." To market, more Lotto, milk.

Primetime, Fuhrman. He seemed stoic.

Bed, no sleep. 

Wednesday, Oct. 9, 1996

Up 8:45. A few Tsps of cereal Vita here.

To corner, coffee, etc.

Louden, BP 134.

To county building, some absentees mailed out.

To Thrift shop, left typewriter.

Braves won. Yankees won. Jeff Maier deflected ball to cause home run. 

Bed late. Took M(elatonin.) Slept good.

 

Thursday, Oct. 10, 1996

Awake 4, then 8:30. Loud talk.

To "Chubby's" for breakfast. By McDonald's, got salad.

Changed coolant. Baseball until 4:15.

To corner, apple juice, donut.

Taped 2nd segment of Alan Bates' "Murder One." Interesting.

 

Friday, Oct. 11, 1996

No sleep, up for M. To corner, talked.

To dump, took coolant. Metal oil catcher.

To Kmart, no shades. OSH has.

TV: mostly game at Baltimore, Yankees won.

Part of X-Files. Gruesome. Did not watch all. 

Ran tape of "Aristotle"on PBS, taped Barbara Walters interview with Kardashian.

 

Sunday, Oct. 13, 1996 

Awake 7, slept til 10. Breakfast corner. Talked to Lee.  

To Scotts Valley, had ice cream. 

To show, "Fly Away Home." To Wendy's. 

Swept patio. Talked to Mary.

Ball game, Atlanta - St. Louis.

Watched 60 Minutes, 1st segment re using homosexual blood for clotting plasma. Offering 100,000 to each hemophiliac infected.

Bed early, but awake from 1-4.

Monday, Oct. 14, 1996

Up 9. Breakfast McDonald's.

No pillbox. To Longs, got 3 - (2 free), batteries, cookies, TV Guide.

Trader Joe's, bananas, papaya, garlic, beef stew.

Home 3 p.m. Worked in yard, watered.

News, Braves vs. St. Louis. 49ers vs. Packers, tie to OT, 20-23.

Tuesday, Oct. 15, 1996

Worked on packing.

Letter from NY, finally. No account # on check. Wrote NY Bank.

BP up, because upset at NY.

Gathered items to take, repacked. Pills! 

Checked times on Metro.

Some Geraldo, Morse (old).

Watched Frasier and Caroline in the City. David Hyde Pierce on Caroline, funny.

 

Wednesday, Oct. 16, 1996

Cold. Breakfast at corner.

To Gottschalk's, Longs, Lotto.

Chores, mended sweater. 

Worked on report to girls, typed explanation. Took few hours, 9 pages.

To Longs, took pictures. Got envelopes.

Did not watch "debate."

Watched discussion on Genesis story, Cain vs. Abel, with Rabbi, Catholic, Atheist, three women, three men; great discussion.

 

Friday, Oct. 18, 1996

Laundromat. Post office, stopped mail, posted Nordstrom check.

Ate Burger King, got gasoline, comb.

Worked on packing.

To show, "Get on the Bus." Enjoyed. About 11 in audience, 1 Black. 

Home. To Mary's, gave her check.

 

Saturday, Oct. 19, 1996

Clean house. Call Comfort Inn.  Not great sleep.  

Up 8:30. Shower/hair. Breakfast corner. 

Mall, paid Sears. 

Longs, got Bismuth, cookies, battery for camera.

Home, reworked case, got everything in. 

TV: Some golf, Midnight Run. Taped: L'Elisir d' Amore.

Slept pretty good.

Sunday, Oct. 20, 1996

Mimi called about 9:30 to wish good trip.

To corner, talked to Lee. She likes cats, has a Himalayan.

Walked on East Cliff.

Mailed girls report of money.

Dallas vs. Atlanta, 32-28, 49ers vs. Bengals, 28-21. 

Watered and swept leaves.

Took my garbage to Larry's, told him. 

Called Inn.

Monday, Oct. 21, 1996

Reservation Comfort Inn.

7 a.m. bus to Metro Center, had toast and coffee.

Some (?) at home, took pills for it.

Shuttle to Inn, van driver did not like $1 tip!

Ate at Chef Wang's Chinese Restaurant. Good, had szechuan chicken.

Comfort Inn, Millbrae. Get Continental breakfast. 

Braves won, watched some at hotel. No CBS, had Fox, ABC, NBC.

Bath! 

Tuesday, Oct. 22, 1996

Slept without Melatonin til 1, took at 2, slept til 4, up 6.

Washed hair in shower.

Continental breakfast at 6:45, OK.

Got Sterling, no fee, but showed 1.50 charge.

Flight delayed. Ate sandwich at airport. Took off 2:30 p.m.

Wednesday, Oct. 23, 1996

No sleep. Kept hat on for warmth.

Seatmate from Las Vegas. Born in Africa, part of Ethiopia.

Bloodshed, she left in 1977, to U.S. in 1982.

Has twin girls and boy, nice.

Lunch at coffee shop. 

Got train to Cambridge-Nottingham.   

Slept. Cold, damp.

 

Thursday, Oct. 24, 1996

Slept til 3:30. Read Lizzie Borden.

Breakfast: juice or cornflakes; bacon; eggs, scrambled or poached; toast; coffee, tea.

Got paper, travel card.

Took Underground to Oxford, bus to Victoria. Wonderful.

Friday, Oct. 25, 1996

Woman calling "Joe" again at 11:30 last night.

Will be rainy, windy weekend. Mended hose, umbrella.

Tried to find Stan James, girl helped. (Met Stanley James on Amtrak 4/28/1994 -4/29/1994, talked all day. He stayed on train, I left at Washington, D.C.)

Got sandwich and chips. Ate at town clock.

Christian, two-year-old?, helped.

Bad night. Caffeine from tea?

Monday, Oct. 28, 1996

Train to Paris. Escalator down. 

Train on time. Seatmate is man from Martinique. 

Train arrived on time, men in station trying to get money.

Walked a bit, nice weather. 

Slept without Melatonin 9-1.

Tuesday, Oct. 29, 1996

Took Melatonin, slept til 7.

Walked, made Xerox copy of letter, mailed to Stimson.

Took bus to Madeline, walked back. Poured.

Slept good, up a lot. Noisy street.

Wednesday, Oct. 30, 1996.

Grandma's friend Seymour in Paris.

Fone Sy (Seymour) and Mimi.

Look for curtains.

Walked wrong way on Rivoloi. To chapel, closed.

Ate lunch.

To hotel, tennis: Sampras, Agassi, Becker, Muster all out!

 

November entries.

The Wedding Bouquet: My mother died before I got married, but she still bought me flowers

Me and my mother on our wedding days.

I think it’s crazy how my parents got married. 

It’s 1965, she’s a 20-year-old Californian exploring Europe with her friends, he’s a 27-year-old Dane just bumming around and taking odd jobs to support his travels. He’s working at a ski resort in Germany when my mother arrives in town, and they meet that night in a bar. 

Just weeks later they are hitchhiking alone together through the Middle East, and before she brings him home with her to Los Angeles, they marry in a civil ceremony in Scotland.

 

That was crazy cool.

 

And decades later when I was ready to get hitched, I decided I needed to do it in Scotland, too. Since my parents couldn’t be there in person (my mother had died when I was a teen and my father left my life soon after) I thought the best way to have them with me was to get married where they did. It would be hard to make that happen, but my husband agreed to my crazy plan and off we went.

 

Heather, my flower girl.

Our wedding party was very small, and the only family member who attended was my husband’s cousin Heather. 

The day of the ceremony, Heather woke up early with a plan to get me a wedding bouquet, and walked to the nearest shop so she could surprise me with flowers I didn’t know I wanted until she handed them to me.

 

And it turns out that without even trying, she had made me a bouquet that looked almost exactly like the one my mother had on her wedding day.

 

That was super cool.

 

But we didn’t realize that until this year, when I posted my parents’ wedding photo for another blog post. 

 

Thirteen years later, while looking at photos from both weddings, it struck me how much the bouquets looked alike. I asked Heather if she had done that on purpose, as I had brought my mother’s wedding photo with me, so she could have seen her bouquet.

 

Heather said she hadn't meant to create a similar bouquet, but definitely noticed how much they looked alike when seeing my mother's flowers again. 

 

“And I got a little teary-eyed. I actually think it’s cooler that it just happened that way. It’s a small town, maybe it was the same shop where she got hers.”

Or maybe my mother was there with Heather as she picked out the flowers, then shaped the bouquet in her hotel room before the ceremony. I like thinking she was.

 

 

Our wedding party after the ceremony, with me holding my parents' wedding photo.

 

 

Poem: After

Before 

I couldn't see inside 

Only shiny metal on black tires

Steel wings and a roar overhead.

After

I can't see anything but the faces

And laughs and smiles

Bundles of life

Belted to buckets of steel

rushing to loves and dinners and holidays and homes

suspended in the seconds before the crash.

Now

Every time the door closes

I soak up the echoes

And squeeze them tight

So I'll still have something

When they don't come back.

My Grandmother's Journals: September, 1996

Five generations: My mother, my sister, my grandmother, 54; her mother, 77, her grandmother, 100.

In tiny notebooks, my grandmother wrote down each day what time she woke up, where she ate breakfast, any movie she went to see, what mail and phone calls she received, then what she read and watched on TV before bed.

In 1996, she was 80-years-old and living alone in a mobile home park in Santa Cruz, Calif. But I wouldn't describe her as lonely; she was an extremely independent and persnickety woman whom I never knew to live with another person or even a pet. (I wrote more about her life in an earlier post.)  

Close to her home was the famous surfing spot called Pleasure Point, and she loved walking to the ocean and watching the surfers. When she died, I took her ashes to those waves with a friend of hers and we each dropped some at the sand. A moment after I dropped mine, a surfer emerged from the water where I stood.

That was cool. 

 

In September of 1996, she turned 81, marking her birthday, Sept. 12, with only a small "81" written in the corner. Later she got a bad stomach flu, and was preparing for her next trip while watching plenty of tennis, football and baseball.

 

August entries.

 

Sunday, Sept. 1, 1996

Up 8:30. Fruit and toast here. 

Seles won; Edberg won.

To Gott's again, got skirt and pants. Owe $197. Girl at Penneys offered $25 for suitcase.

To corner, talked to large lady. She crochets, etc. Gave her green reel.

49ers. Dug up "Jade" cactus Freda gave me years ago. To trash, avocado planted.

Monday, Sept. 2, 1996

Up 8, ate at corner.  

Tennis, Graf and Agassi won.

Ironed scraps for lady. She took all, except cottons.

To show after lunch, "Basquait." Sad. Street painter, NYC. Graffiti. Became "famous."

Died of OD, Aug. 27, 1988.

Tennis, Chang. Taped Madame Bovary. 

Read. Bed.

Tuesday, Sept. 3, 1996

Up 8:30. Bank, deposited Justine's money. 

Coffee, etc. Home, tennis. 

Did nails, caught up on papers, sorted fabrics.

To Live Oak, BP 168? Student.

To town, checked Thrift Store. Yes, take patterns.

To library, checked health and safety code.

Got hot dog!

Seles won, Sampras won.

Law & Order, French. Bed. Took mel.

 

Wednesday, Sept. 4, 1996 

Watered lawns, some weeds.

Tennis, Graf, Chang, Muster v. Agassi. Both played good.  

Sewed old quilt, 3 hours. Star Trek Voyager, News.

Slept fair. Dream, Fergie at a "palace." Trouble with luggage.

 

Thursday, Sept. 5, 1996

Awake 5, back to sleep. Up 9:30.

To corner, then Longs, Albertsons. Tennis, mixed Doubles.

Letter to Stimson. To Post Office, mailed package to Mina. 

Wrote letter to Mina between checking on Tennis.

To Post Office, mailed letter to Mina.

Walked on cliff. Evening calm, but surfers out.

Ran tape of P&P, 2 hours.

 

Friday, Sept. 6, 1996

Reservations at Live Oak, tuna salad.

Tennis: Chang, Agassi, Sampras. 

Awake 6, up 9. Breakfast at Kmart.

To gas, cap gone! To Kragens, got one with lock! $13.

Wrote to Justine, mailed. 

Rain, Graf match postponed. 

To Live Oak for dinner. Sewed sari, both edges done.

Taped PBS program, Shadow Government. 

 

Saturday, Sept. 7, 1996

Up 9:30. To Corner.

Tennis, Chang/Agassi: 6/3, 6/2, 6/2! Chang seems emotional, Agassi off game.

To show, Kansas City. Stopped by Carol's on way, then back.

Library, returned Beatrice Wood.

Walked East Cliff; to be closed 3 months.

Ran tapes of Gulliver's Travels, And the Band Played On. 

Sunday, Sept. 8, 1996

Up 8. To corner. Talked to woman doing X-word puzzle.

Graf over Seles. Good match. Rain delay of Sampras/Chang.

Ironed cotton scraps, watched some football. 49ers vs. Rams, 34-0.

Walked on cliff, to Trader Joe's.

Watched Dateline with (Jeffrey) Toobin, wrote book on O.J., reporter for the New Yorker. 

Some 60 Minutes. Bed.

Monday, Sept. 9, 1996

Reservations at Live Oak - fish.

Watered. To corner. Red Corvette!

To Watsonville, called Senior Center, serve breakfast 8 to 10.

Mail: Justine sent three books back.

Paid KQED, IRS. 

TV: A&E 3 hours, ran P&P tapes to compare audio.

Bed 10. Not good sleep.

Tuesday, Sept. 10, 1996

Up 9:30. Awake 8, but because of little sleep, rested.

To corner, tiny mouse in shop.

I cleaned papers, etc, from paper, telephone location.  

Foned Hindu Foundation in Watsonville, gave 1 shirt, red,  white and blue.

To library, read some of Warhol. 

To show, "Carried Away." Dennis Hopper, Amy Irving. Honest. 

Some TV. Bed early.

Wednesday, Sept. 11, 1996

Up 9. Ate at Seal Rock Cafe. Coffee cold.

To Louden, BP. 138/72, same as last time.

Home, tired, rested.

Walked about 5:30 to 6.

Some A&E. Baseball. Ghost, enjoyed. 

Got clothes ready for laundromat.

Slept good.

Thursday, Sept. 12, 1996 

81. (It was her 81st birthday)

To laundromat. To corner, 9:45.

Clayton to sell his Geo Storm. Has A/C. 

Foned Mid-County. Will take cotton.

Wrote Prudy. To Post Office and Mid-County.

Wrote Mina and Paris. To show, "Emma" again.

Library, Kmart, home.

Watched Mystery, 5 hours. Rerun.

Bed. Very bad sleeping.

Friday, Sept. 13, 1996

Slept 4:30 to 9. Not good. Breakfast at corner. 

To San Jose, stopped at Burger King to P.

To Cypress senior center, gave 3 x 3 squares. 

To Macy's, took over Emporium. Got sweater at Nordstrom, and tights.

Home via Scotts Valley, got salad at Wendy's.

Taped PBS, watched X-Files, part of The Crying Game.

Took M, slept good.

Saturday, Sept. 14, 1996

Up 9. To corner, gave Lee fabric.

To Mid-County Flea Market, no dolls!

Also wine festival in Capitola. Lunch at home.

Mail: Adverts. Sorted some clothes, wool sweaters of Justine's left at house.

Ran half of P&P, Bio of Leonard Nimoy. Interesting, married first wife at 33, 2 children. Then to a producer, Susan Bay, son, daughter, stepson.

Again, not good sleep.

Sunday, Sept. 15, 1996

Up 9, Breakfast BK, watered lawn.

Walked Capitola, wine festival again.

Home noon. French tapes. To corner,  croissant & coffee.

Albertsons, home 3:30. Wrote some to Mina.

Typed P&P cast, taped USA Unabomber; 60 Minutes interviewed family of Ted K.

News, Frank Lloyd Wright homes.

Drank Cabernet with water.

Monday, Sept. 16, 1996

Slept good, feel up. Breakfast at corner.

To Kmart, got more dandelion killer and sprayed Larry's lawn.

Talked to Larry, he sprayed Myra's side, not mine.

Mail: No letter from bank of  NY.

Had to return French cassettes.

TV: 5 news, Murphy Brown, Cybill, 10 news.

Had wine. Bed. Not too good. 

Tuesday, Sept. 17, 1996

Up 9. Awake 5. Breakfast Lyon's. Upped price of coffee!

Walked town of Capitola, road blocked.

To Longs, got T.V. Guide. Home, CNN.

To Live Oak, BP 168/82.

To bank, girl, blonde, no focus, not listening. 

To Longs, Post Office, mailed to Federal Reserve bank.

Home, Frasier, news. Bed, no wine.

Wednesday, Sept. 18, 1996

Slept good. Awake often tho! Up 8.

Watered lawn and picked some of Larry's dandelions. 

To corner, then walked. To Trader Joe's.

Mail arrived at 12:45. Letter from Mina, fone bill.

Worked on car repair costs, papers, etc. 

Law & Order, Rockford Files. Some news.

Thursday, Sept. 19, 1996

Slept fair. Up 9:30. Cran/apple juice.

To library, got prices from Barron's, list of hotels near airport.

Home. Taped wrong last night.

Rested, read papers. 

Walked East Cliff. Sun difficult, setting.

Taped Brook's Suddenly Susan. Not as bad as some reviewers say.

Friday, Sept. 20, 1996

Awake 7, up 9. Slept OK, Breakfast Carl's.

Showered, cut hair a bit.

Ants in sink! Left butter out, gone.

Spot on nose bad. Could not find Band-aids.

News, Geraldo Rivera. Taped Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Watched X-Files.

Saturday, Sept. 21, 1996

Awake 5, up 8. Breakfast corner. Lee there.

Library, got price on last bond. Mailed renewal for 4 (5?).

To show, "Trainspotting!!!"

Home, Dodgers vs. San Diego, Warm. D won 9-2.

TV: New shows, Dark Skies, re: aliens, Roswell. Also "Profiler," woman with "2nd Sight!"

Stark, grim. People left show?

 

Sunday, Sept. 22, 1996

Fair night. Awake 7:30.

Some yard work after coffee, etc.  

49ers getting beaten by Carolina!

Wrote letter to SW Bell!

Started feeling uncomfortable in afternoon. 

Ate banana and bread. To bed 8:30 p.m. 

Monday, Sept. 23, 1996

Awake 5:30 a.m. Lost whatever was in stomach, then had diarrhea on and off all day.

Took (medication), threw it up in 1/2 hour. All day in bed.

24-hour bug, 5:30 Mon to 5:30 Tues.

Think subsided about 4 a.m., so slept til 9 a.m. Really got washed out.

No paper on Monday.

Tuesday, Sept. 24, 1996

To market, got another type of diarrhea prevention, T.V. Guide, crackers, potatoes.

Home, back to bed.

Read paper, rested, did nothing.  

Ate crackers, hot milk, crackers, chicken broth. 

Carol called. Has apples, but I don't feel too good.

Bed early, couldn't sleep. Earache.

 

Wednesday, Sept. 25, 1996

Up 9:15, to Live Oak, registered for absentee ballot.

Louden, BP: 122/74.

To corner for donut & coffee.

Worked on watch to change battery! Put on old "pink" watch from Shanghai. 

Ate meal: Chicken patty, baked potato, veg. 

Stuck in stomach like a rock. Ill all night.

Lost part of crossword.

Thursday, Sept. 26, 1996

Some relief around 4 a.m.  Slept til 10. Just tea.

To Kmart, got beef broth and chicken broth. 

To laundromat, home. Foned library and renewed French tapes.

Made bed, etc. News.

Had tea or beef broth, crackers.

Bed 8:30, slept good.

Friday, Sept. 27, 1996

Up 9. Put heat on. Washed part of bedroom rug, also mopped kitchen floor.

Rested between work.

News, NBC + CBS.  To be warmer today!

Shower, cut hair, to corner. 

To OSH for shower rods, then to Kmart. Did not get any.

Carol brought pears.

TV: X-Files, old. Bed, papers.

Saturday, Sept. 28, 1996

Awake 7:30, up 9. Breakfast here. 

Mail: Letter from Bank of NY asking for $5.

Wrote to bank, rather sarcastic, $5 check. To Longs for copy, to Post Office. 

"Deadly Deception," 4 to 6.

Checked out TV w/o cable, get 6 on 15 and 54 on 17. 22 had classical music and documentary.

Bed early, woke up! French til 2:45 a.m.

Sunday, Sept. 29, 1996

Up 9:30. Ate here. To corner, got coffee, etc.

To library, home. Garden, cleaned some of Jasmine up

Wrote Justine and Mimi.

49ers vs. Atl, 39-17. Raiders, 17, vs. Bears, 19

Watered lawn!! Padres, 2, Dodgers, 0, in 11th inning. 3 straight wins.

Wine about 1:30. Headache in a.m.

Monday, Sept. 30, 1996

Up 9. To credit union. Car show starting.

To Mid-County, left note to sell Pullman.

To bank, then Sears. Battery low, had 70,000 miles.

Home to change, back to Mid-County for flu shot.

Dallas vs Philly, 23 -19. Bed 10:30. Slept fair. 

October entries

The letter my grandmother typed and mailed to me on Sept. 29, 1996.