Meet
my grandmother: a very persnickety and frugal
woman who liked both opera and fast food, ice skating and football — and
writing down everything she did each day in tiny notebooks that I love
reading.
The
details she shares make me laugh, give me comfort, and, most
importantly, finally let me inside the mind of the woman who served as
my North Star, a guiding, stabilizing light that I very much needed with
both of my parents gone by the time I was 20.
But much like a star, she
offered me light without warmth, assurance without affection, keeping
her vulnerable side hidden from me, only sharing her most human thoughts
and feelings with
her journals.
So finding those notebooks after she died was doubly wonderful, because they not only gave me my North Star back, they gave me something she never could: Her.
That was cool.
The entries included below are from June of 1999, when she was 83 and living in a mobile home
park in Santa Cruz, Calif, which she chose because it was near the
popular surfing spot Pleasure Point, where she loved to walk by most
days to watch the waves and surfers.
(Read more on my grandmother and how I learned about these notebooks below.)
Also that month she was watching a lot of tennis (including a “petulant Hingis”) checking her emails at the library, and checking up on me after I had my appendix taken out, even meeting me in San Francisco when I got “bored” while healing after surgery (my first and only, so far!) Also, she went to see Notting Hill for the second and third time!
Tuesday, June 1, 1999
Awake 5:40, called Schwab at 6:05. NASDAQ opens at 6:30
French Open, Graf over Davenport; Agassi won.
To post office, mailed letter to Justine, package to Prudy.
To Kmart for lunch.
Home, Justine left message: needs checkbook.
To library, email from Justine; sent message to Carla.
Home, tired. Up late.
Bed 11 with pill.
Wednesday, June 2, 1999
Up 6:30 Usual breakfast. Chores.
Wrote small note to Doctors on Duty: “Box indicates patient paid.”
Goodyear busy, leave car tomorrow.
To Drug Emporium, got TV Guide, coffee.
To library, checked Barron’s, Time. Got book on wasps.
To Aptos, ate KFC.
To show, “Never Been Kissed.”
To Aptos library, internet busy. College too close.
Got Lotto tickets.
To Live Oak, got on Internet. Two messages from Carla, sent her two, one to Justine.
Some TV.
Thursday, June 3, 1999
Take car to Goodyear with coupon.
Changed appointment: Noon Monday.
Walked in rain, not smart.
Coffee and donut at 17th. New waitress, hustler!
Home, to bed after packing dishes. Felt cold.
Read paper, TV later.
Bed 9:30. Fair sleep.
Friday, June 4, 1999
Forgot to put out trash.
Swept in and out. Talked to Larry.
To post office, got stamps.
To Ocean Street Farrell’s.
Home, Agassi won.
To Longs for Cholesterol test. Okay.
Mail: Three from Prudy: Letter, spoons, pictures.
TV: Two hours, cleaned silver. Law & Order, X-Files.
Took brewer’s yeast late, kept me up.
Ate late, slept good.
Saturday, June 5, 1999
Up 6:30, usual breakfast.
Crossword, chores.
Tennis: Graf/Hingis match. Graf said attitude of new, young players borders on (no respect) arrogance. Hingis said Graf will never win a Grand Slam again.
Graf won, Hingis petulant, tried all tricks. First took toilet break, changed blouse, fixed hair.
Booed by crowd, stalled, crowd booed. Talked to umpire, stalled, Served, lost. Cried on mother's shoulder!
To library, no dice on Internet.
To KFC.
Sunday, June 6, 1999
Up 5:30. Agassi wins. 5th man to win all four Grand Slams.
Mina called to discuss.
Williams sister won. Good!
Justine called, met Charmaine, she works at a software company. Nice girl. H is manager at Trader Joe’s.
Had yogurt. Wrote four letters.
Monday, June 7, 1999
Up 5:30 Garbage cans.
Breakfast, chores, walking.
To Longs, McDonald’s for coffee.
Car to Goodyear, ready 1 p.m.
Called Schwab, do not send invoices anymore. Mailed check.
Checked car, needs air filter & coolant changed!
Home, lunch. Got letter ready for Mina.
TV: Due South, Law & Order.
Bed, read a little.
Slept good 12-3-6. Heat necessary.
Tuesday, June 8, 1999
Dentist 9 a.m.
Out 8:15, got paper. Early to dentist, read paper.
Worked on No. 18 for an hour no charge! Has crack, to be extracted.
To KFC, lunch.
To Krogen’s got air filter.
Home, people at Brommer lane looking angry in parking lot.
Question regarding dentists: Last two times, 27 & 18 resulted in catastrophe. Root canal & extraction!
Tired. Read, TV, bed. No sleep though.
Up 12 a.m. for bread, then slept.
Wednesday, June 9, 1999
Awake 6. Heat necessary. Usual breakfast.
To post office, got stamps.
Walked on cliff to donut shop.
To Albertsons, ran over drain!
Home rest of day til 4.
To Live Oak, email from Carla, sent e-mail to Justine, Carla.
Thursday, June 10, 1999
Up 5:30, usual breakfast. Chores.
Paid Schwab by mail, $585.07. Also paid IRS.
First walked on 30th to Ocean Street, got coffee/donut.
Home, washed car, vacuumed.
To PO, mailed letters.
Mail: Myra wrote, wants bread and sunflower seeds.
To New Leaf, got Alfaro.
Told Maria, gave me picture.
Shower, etc. Bed 10:30.
Friday, June 11, 1999
To Santa Maria.
Up 6:30, usual breakfast. Ready by 9.
To Gonzales, Then Paso Robles. Rest area at 120 miles gone?
Hold-up at Pismo. Recycle truck lost load of metal tops.
Second at Five Cities. car caught fire.
Myra's at 2 p.m. Very nice apartment.
Ate at buffet. $7.49. Good.
Car in garage.
Bed, read Mrs. Dalloway.
Talked lots. Not good sleep.
Saturday, June 12, 1999
Up 6, breakfast here.
Food For Less. Cash.
Back to apartment, then Buellton.
Lunch, too much. Ate too much. Miserable.
Walked, beautiful houses nearby.
Ate fruit.
Slept better, 10-6.
Sunday, June 13, 199
Up 6:30. Breakfast with Myra.
Left 9:30, 268 miles.
Stop first at Madonna Inn McDonald’s.
Was to call John Mark but didn’t.
Stopped at rest area near Camp Roberts, home about 2.
Message from Justine: Was ill Thursday, had operation, appendicitis.
Mail: referral to dentist. Unpacked.
TV: Movie, “Her Alibi.” Sad, but good.
Ebert, crossword.
Bed 11:30, good sleep.
Monday, June 14, 1999
Up 6, usual breakfast. Packed vitamins.
Started wash, letter to Myra.
Called Mr. Ainsworth. Dressed, went to give him magazines. He said my car looked good. Metal heavier then, now too thin.
To Kmart, another breakfast.
Home, talked with Ellie. Husband bad.
Louise Bradley brought two letter over.
Mailed Myra deep cleansing cream.
Walked on cliff.
Home 5, ate fruit.
Bed 10:30, slept OK.
Tuesday, June 15, 1999
Extraction 9 a.m.
Up 6, chores.
Watered lawn at 7. To Watsonville at 8.
Nice girl, took 9 to 9:30. Very difficult.
Took pain killer at 2 p.m.
Ate soup, fruit.
TV: All reruns.
Took pill, cold. Late sleep, 12-1.
Wednesday, June 16, 1999
Up 8, Chores. Ready by 9:15
To McDonald’s for coffee; Longs, tissue; Drug Emporium, TV Guide.
1:30 met dentist. Very unsatisfactory. Need crown. Talked about bridge, wire versus plastic. Myra did not like metal. Use chrome-cobalt, does not interact with saliva.
Called Justine to see how she was doing. Feeling better, watching TV, movies.
Mail: Letter from Joan/Sally.
TV: All reruns.
Read Mrs Dalloway.
Thursday, June 17, 1999
Awake 6, bed til 7. Chores. Ready 9.
Walked cliff.
White spot on gum? Called doctor’s office. Wait til tomorrow.
To town, donut/coffee.
To library, got stock prices.
Home, ate.
TV: Murder She Wrote.
Mail: Letters from Mina, Ysabel. Fone bill $40.33!
Friday, June 18, 1999
Check-up at Dr. T.
Try Airport Blvd again, drove six miles out of my way.
To McDonald's, got hot cakes.
To Target, got remote. Got gas at Kmart.
To town, Logo’s. Bought book, “39 Steps.”
Home, hot.
Programmed remote. Video to test.
TV: Cracker, Star Trek.
Saturday, June 19, 1999
Awake 7, usual breakfast.
Called Myra re dentist. She likes skin cleansing cream.
Vacuumed a bit. Shower, hair.
Bank, deposited Prudy’s check.
Ate KFC.
Home, watched soccer. USA v. Denmark, 3-0.
Justine called. Bored. Meet in SF?
TV: Morse repeat. Watched “Extreme Measures” again. Good. Hugh Grant, Gene Hackman, who is always believable.
Bed late.
Sunday, June 20, 1999
Up 6:30, feel good. Usual breakfast, chores.
Called Justine at 9, she in good humor.
Left here 9:34, to Golden Gate Park 11:45. Parking $2.
Asian Museum and DeYoung $5 for seniors.
Justine arrived about 12:20, traffic bad. Baseball at Giants.
Concentrated on Jade, ate yogurt. Justine had sandwich.
Left about 2, home 4. Rested til 5:30.
TV: News, Siskel & Ebert.
Got ready for bed, tired. Watched part of “The Love Letter.”
Monday, June 21, 1999
Up 6, breakfast 7.
Started on changing clothes: Summer out, winter in.
Walked, hot.
To Longs, McDonald's, home.
Mail: Books arrived, mailed May 12.
Took clothes to thrift shop. Gave Reader’s Digest to Maria for Sister Grace.
To show, “Limbo.” Surprised, no ending.
Home, ate too much.
TV: Taped “Count of Monte Cristo.”
Bed 10. Wrote Mina.
Tuesday, June 22, 1999
Up 6:30, usual breakfast.
To laundromat. Watch stopped.
To Longs, Albertsons. Got watch battery, food.
Cold, turned on heat.
Ellie stopped by, husband to hospital. Fell in house, cud not breathe. Ambulance.
To dentists at 1:30. Knowledgeable about bridges, partials, etc. Very precise work.
Home, finished letter to Mina.
Tennis: Hingis out first round!
Wednesday, June 23, 1999
Up 6:15. Breakfast, some chores.
Walked on cliff.
Dentist 9:30 til 11:30. Took impression for crown. $770 - 10%, 77, $693 -1/3, $346.50. Paid.
Kmart for grilled cheese.
To show, “Notting Hill.” (2nd)
Home 3:40, mailed letter before dentist.
TV: Count of Monet Cristo, Jim Lehrer.
Bed 9:18. Good sleep.
Thursday, June 24, 1999
Up 6:30, breakfast. Watered lawn, Miracle Gro fertilizer.
Picked some of Ellie's dandelions. She came out. Husband in critical condition.
To Nob Hill for cheese.
Donut/coffee, home.
To Scotts Valley for show, “The Love Letter.” Good.
To library, email from H and Carla.
Home, ate.
TV: Count M.C., Lehrer.
Bed, stocks, paper. Sleep late.
Friday, June 25, 1999
Not much sleep. Awake 4.
Mailed Mastercard. Wrote Prudy, mailed.
Drug Emporium, got tooth cleaners, brushes and mouthwash with fluoride.
To Ocean Ave, donut/coffee.
To library, looked at Marin County, Sonoma County maps. Took video of Internet.
Sent emails to Justine, H, Carla.
Home, ate.
TV: CNN, Due South, Lehrer, Law & Order (rerun).
Saturday, June 26, 1999
Up 7, usual breakfast.
Water to plants. Cleaned a bit.
Walked on cliff.
Home. tennis: Agassi won, Becker won.
A little soccer. Home all day.
Read papers, Some TV.
Ran “Desperately Seeking Susan.”
No new programs.
Bed, crossword. Slept 12-4.
Sunday, June 27, 1999
Slept 4-7, crossword again.
Shower, hair.
Wimbledon at 11, second Sunday no play, just recap of week.
To show, “Tarzan.” Good, fantastic digital animation.
Ate Wendy's.
Home, put some winters in green case.
TV: News, Siskel/Ebert. 60 Minutes, rehash.
Retired 8 p.m., crossword, etc. Slept 11-4.
Notes she wrote on top of page:
CD ROM: Compact Disc, Read Only Memory.
RAM: Random Access memory
Getting connected
CPU: Central Processing Unit (Megahertz, speed).
Monday, June 28, 1999
Need heat.
Breakfast usual, chores.
Drove car to Aptos and back.
Smog check on 41st. Passed.
Ocean for donut. Owners back after six weeks. Got in 10 p.m. last night. She has hair permed, regulars greet them.
To library, checking for news for Purdy. All computers taken.
Home, lunch. 1/2 tamale.
CNN, Poirot, read papers, finished Mrs. Dalloway.
Ear hurts. Ran some of "Getting Connected."
Tuesday, June 29, 1999
Check ear batteries. Then get some at other place.
Start cleaning out old programs.
Up 6:30, usual breakfast. Sorted programs.
To Longs, got soup, fruit.
To McDonald’s, Drug Emporium for TV Guide.
Checked at Blockbuster for English Patient. $17.99!
To Kmart, chicken san.
To library, two emails from Justine, 1 from Carla. Answered.
To show, “Red Violin.”
Home. News, Lehrer, bed early. Takes long to get ready.
Wednesday, June 30, 1999
Write TCI.
Awake 5:45, up 7. Need heat.
Usual breakfast, walked 8:30 to 9.
Trader Joe’s, some crossword.
Tennis: Venus over Anna K, 3/6. 6/3, 6/2.
Wrote Mina, Sy. To post office.
Mail: Another letter from Mina. Letter from Myra also.
Had soup.
To show, "Notting Hill." [Justine here: For the third time!]
To KFC, got pie, and pie to go.
Home. News, etc. Bed 10:30.
More on my grandmother: Though she never lived with another person or even a pet when I knew her, I also never knew her to be lonely. She was an extremely independent
woman who did not marry my grandfather when she became pregnant in
1943, and instead raised my mother on her own in 1950s Los Angeles. (I wrote more about her life in this post)
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