Meet my grandmother: a very persnickety and frugal woman who liked both opera and fast food, ice skating and football — and writing down everything she did each day in tiny notebooks that I love reading.
The details she shares make me laugh, give me comfort, and, most importantly, finally let me inside the mind of the woman who served as my North Star, a guiding, stabilizing light that I very much needed with both of my parents gone by the time I was 20.
But much like a star, she
offered me light without warmth, assurance without affection, keeping her vulnerable side hidden from me, only sharing her most human thoughts and feelings with
her journals.
So finding those notebooks after she died was doubly wonderful, because they not only gave me my North Star back, they gave me something she never could: Her.
That was cool.
The entries included below are from May of 1999, when she was 83 and living in a mobile home
park in Santa Cruz, Calif, which she chose because it was near the
popular surfing spot Pleasure Point, where she loved to walk by most
days to watch the waves and surfers.
(Read more on my grandmother and how I learned about these notebooks below.)
The first half of May she was in Paris, a city she liked to visit every year in trips she usually made by herself, though one year she invited me. (Read both of our journal entries during that trip here.) Once she got back to Santa Cruz, grandma went back to walking “on the cliff,” also known as East Cliff Drive, keeping tabs on her next-door neighbor Larry for someone named Loretta, and searching many department stores for a 34D bra she could send to her sister-in-law in Ohio.
Saturday, May 1, 1999 - In Paris
Breakfast 8 a.m. Out about 9:30. Lovely day.
Phillipe called Yvonne for me to get directions, report. 83 or 27 bus.
Took Metro to Trocadero, walked.
Then walked Kleber Ave to Champs Elyse. Ate McDonald’s. [Justine here: We’ve eaten at that McDonald’s together!]
Got tea, patisserie.
To hotel. Washed trousers.
Bed after BBC. Slept til 1:30, then 7:30. Got ink on sheet!
Sunday, May 2, 1999- In Paris
Ate 8:30, chores. Then diarrhea. Why?
Trip, Moulin de V. Depart at 12:30. Be there early. Take hearing aid and opera glasses.
Full coach. Woman across aisle speaks some English. All polite.
Guide talked too fast.
Back 8 p.m. Shop next door open. Dined in.
Monday, May 3, 1999 - In Paris
Fair sleep. To see Yvonne.
Just cafe, baguette in cafeteria.
27 bus to Jeanne d’arc.
Found Yvonne. Has vertigo, falls.
To Concorde.
Back to hotel, got quiche.
Tuesday, May 4, 1999 - In Paris
Up 8:30. Phillipe surly. Busy?
The SOS Voyager. Very nice woman. Called Mairis de Great w/instructions.
Take, train, taxi.
Tried for pads. No one knew.
To post office, mailed 3 cards: Mina, Prudy, Carla.
To pharmacy for pads, not good.
PO gave me 5/4.40 stamps for 17.6. Pharmacy gave me 4F change instead of 2!
To hotel, neighbors loud. American? Slam doors.
Stomach sore.
Wednesday, May 5, 1999 - In Paris
Paid four nights, 2 no breakfast.
Mimi called, found where Sy lives.
I took long way, walked via 60 bus.
To McDonald’s, ate chicken sandwich, milk shake. Stomach good.
To Louvre, Pont de Arts Exhibition.
Bought salad and custard.
To hotel. No sleep.
No. 2 talked and made love 3 -4!
Thursday, May 6, 1999 - In Paris
Slept 4 - 8:30.
Called Sy. “Call weekend.”
To Bon Marche, looked around. Bought postcard, pen.
Ate in cafe. Toilet now 1F.
To cemetery, wrote postcard.
To Solferno, could not find.
Took 73 bus. Walked for miles.
To cafe for coffee, more walking.
Took 27 bus. Then more walking.
Got food, good.
To hotel. Ate, washed, etc.
Took 2 pills, ear plugs. Slept 8:30-12-4 a.m.-7:30 a.m.
Friday, May 7, 1999 - In Paris
Mimi 2 p.m. Take tea.
First to Place de’Italic. Art modern. Liked some Picasso. No cards.
Ate McDonald’s.
To Chinese market, got tea, ginger, bananas.
Saw shrine to Diana. Man with pipe.
To Bon Marche cafe. Ate salad, tarte, yogurt.
To Mimi’s. Talked 2-6. She walked me to station. Got tart almondine.
Hotel, ate, Made tea.
Bed. Fair sleep.
Saturday, May 8, 1999 - In Paris
Slept late. Very crowded in breakfast room.
Called Sy, he backed out of seeing me.
Called Andra, to meet at hotel 5 p.m.
To La Defense after walk. Changed: Big, more shops. Got lost.
Back to BB. Big line. Go early in a.m.
Sunday, May 9, 1999 - In Paris
Up 7:15, ate early.
To Pompidou. Wait 1 hour to get in, pushing and shoving.
Read Essay Fontainebleau.
Ate Melodine.
To Gare Lyon, no Fontainebleau.
Two boys helped me for time.
Hotel 4:30. Tired, wrote letter to Mina.
Read Mrs. D. Slept.
Monday, May 10, 1999 - In Paris
Woke 6:30, back to sleep. Raining!!
To posta at Louvre, rude. Got box to mail books.
Called Yvonne and Mimi, left M message on machine. Y had good report from medicine.
Andra called, no chance for lunch. two holidays for her.
Ate self-serve at Bon Marche. Too much!
Hotel, then out to get Scotch tape, milkshake. Spilled on me and floor.
Hotel 6 p.m., Mimi called 9 p.m. Thursday noon.
Tuesday, May 11, 1999 - In Paris
Up 8. Misty.
To Gare S’Est. Back to Paris 12:50.
To Melodine, lunch. Saw kids over fence.
Walked from Palais Royal to Concorde, looked at two book stores for RLS.
Walked to Surfer Shop, no e-mail. E-mailed Carla?
To apple tart place, met couple from Amherat. They have email in Paris.
Got pomme tart.
Washed hair.
Wednesday, May 12, 1999 - In Paris
Got paper. To Marks & Spencer, got food.
Bus to Roissy is 45 F.
Called Mimi, met Andra. Lunch near there.
To hotel, wrote letter to Justine. To post office.
To Pompidou. Waited for Xerox. Friendly group.
5 p.m. good time to go to Pompidou.
Bus to hotel.
Thursday, May 13, 1999 - In France
Breakfast here. 82 bus to Luxemborg.
I cut class to see “Harold & Maude.”
27 bus to Pont de Arles. Holiday!
Called Andra, OK to meet at Mimi’s
Bought catalogue, 25 FF. Walked around again. Blind people touching, crowd there.
To Mimi’s. Fruit, rice, salmon, salad, cheese, waffles, strawberries.
Left at 9:30. Impression favorable.
 |
| Grandma and Mimi in Paris, 1999. |
Friday, May 14, 1999 - In Paris
Ticket to Orly. Foned to confirm. Bus to Orly 35 F
Read paper, ate McDonald’s.
To Melodine, read more. Ate salad, strawberries.
Took 38 back, walked.
To hotel, lost.
Bought abricot tarte.
Made tea, slept fair.
Saturday, May 15, 1999 - In Paris
12:30 trip.
Ate McDonald’s. Pancakes, cafe.
Walked through Marks & Spencer, killed time.
12:00 bus, about 36.
Very interesting, two people talked to me. One had drink. She was in Kansas 25 years ago.
Bought key ring.
Took 38 bus. Girl gave me her seat, women across made remarks.
Got food next door to hotel, 36 F.
Sunday, May 16, 1999 - In Paris
Up 8, breakfast. Talked to Madame!
Maid said to come back for my 84th birthday in September for a grand Fete.
First to Pont Marie! Then called Sy, Yvonne, Mimi. Used 31-26 units, Mimi mostly.
To Pont des Arts, got catalogue.
Met two Americans, young girls. Took pictures.
One goes to Bible school, also talks French.
Put catalogue in Mimi’s mailbox.
To hotel, Phillipe shook hands.
Monday, May 17, 1999
Leave Paris., via JFK 3:30 p.m., SFO 6:57 p.m. 28B
Shuttle 7:57, arrive San Jose 9:35 p.m. Amtrak 9:40 p.m. to 10:25 p.m.
Took taxi to Orly, early. Coffee there.
Seatmate man from “Dupont Circle,” Wash D.C. Back from bicycle tour in Provence, 11 men.
Slept mostly, 7 hours to JFK. Gate 49 at END of terminal for flight to SFO.
Seatmate man, no conversation. Shorts, read. Ate like pig.
8:24 Cal Train, 9:40 Amtrak.
Took taxi home, shared with woman from Capitola. Been to LA, Getty Museum.
Tuesday, May 18, 1999 - Back in Santa Cruz
Slept 11-12-4 Awake. Cold. Balanced books.
To McDonald’s at 8, breakfast, paper.
To post office, got mail. Sorted it.
To Ross, nothing good.
Home, put some things away. Talked, Maria and Larry reconciled.
Got bank statement, Justine deposited $500 4/26! [Justine again: I was paying her back money she loaned me for a house deposit.]
Ate corn flakes.
Wednesday, May 19, 1999
Bed 7 yesterday, awake 1:30 a.m. Tea & toast.
No sleep, some paper. Gave up 3:30 a.m.
Started straightening up, put plates back.
Ate McDonald’s again.
To Longs. got video: Meet Joe Black.
Got more apricots, BP machine down. Got envelopes for mail to Mina.
BP at Drug Emporium, 149-81.
To Trader Joe’s, got bananas.
Home, cold. Ate banana. No leg cramps in night.
Fone bill, no calls. $12. More taxes.
Bed early, read a bit.
Thursday, May 20, 1999
Good sleep until 3. Then back til 6.
Up, took shower, ready by 9:30. Chores.
Walked, windy.
To Drug Emporium for BP, then library. Email closed. Found paper article, Excite merging.
Wendy's for lunch. Kmart, no salad.
Home. call from Justine. Called back.
Called Loretta, said no car all day. L said “I saw them two hours ago, Larry has another woman with him!”
TV: Mystery 8-9, bed.
Friday, May 21, 1999
Awake 6, breakfast, crossword. Walked.
To Drug Emporium for TV Guide.
Got coffee, haircut. Supercuts.
To Longs. Got padlock, envelopes.
Home, worked on crossword, read papers.
Translated one part of Noubas.
Some TV, bed 9. Slept good.
Saturday, May 22, 1999
Awake 6, breakfast.
Wrote Andra, typed translation of Noubas.
Washed car.
To Longs. Coffee at McDonald’s, 1/2 muffin.
To post office, mailed letters, Noubas to Mina. Forgot to Xerox it!
To show, “Mid-Summer Night’s Dream.” Takes place in Tuscany area. Good, I guess. Not many there. Something going on in center of Santa Cruz.
Woman in gold car came to Larry’s home. Grey-haired. Saw her leave 5:15 p.m.
Sunday, May 23, 1999
Awake 6, breakfast. Ironed a bit, scarfs, beige pants.
Car (Maria’s?) in driveway. Noticed at 9:45 a.m.
Chores, Larry out to waste bucket at 10:45 a.m.
Ate lunch here.
To mall, got Andra pants and top. Also white nylon jacket for me.
Home 4:30, re-read letter from Prudy. She needs bra, Maidenform, 34D.
Capitola celebrating 50 years. Fireworks 9 to 9:30.
TV: Independence Day
Monday, May 24, 1999
Awake 6. Walked on cliff.
Washed beige skirt and pants.
To Way of Life, got cheese and tea.
To Longs. Got envelopes, legal pads.
Checked Gottschalk’s, Penney’s, Mervyn’s, Kmart for bra.
Lunch at Kmart, meatloaf sandwich. Lot of food!
To library, checked stock prices. Read some.
Home 2:30, tired.
Finished letter to Prudy, mailed.
TV: Part of “Mad About You.”
Tuesday, May 25, 1999
Took pill at 12:15 a.m. Slept til 6:30.
Usual breakfast, foggy.
Gave maria $10. Larry cut himself shaving?
Wrapped gift for Andra, inserted note in Prudy’s package.
To post office on Morrissey, opens at 7. Stopped for coffee + donut!
Home, wrestled with bank balance after withdrawing $200.
TV: Law & Order, bio of Liz Taylor. Married 8 times: Hilton, Todd, Fisher, Burton, Burton, Warner... ?
Bit of news, bed.
Wednesday, May 26, 1999
Awake 6, breakfast, Wrote Stinson til 9:30.
To McWhorters for Xerox.
To Sears for correction tape.
To Staples for ribbons.
Albertsons for groceries.
Dentist 2:15, temp filling in #27 replaced by permanent:$119 - 10% = $107.10
To Longs, travel brush & cookies!
Home 4:15.
TV: News, Law & Order.
Bed, took pill. Not good sleep.
Thursday, May 27, 1999
Up 8:30. Breakfast, crossword.
Tried to put correction tape on. Messed up, took hour.
Wrote Mina, forgot to say about son.
Drug Emporium for BP, TV Guide.
To Scotts Valley. Movie times off, got ice cream.
Home, mail: Bank statement.
TV: News, Jim Lehrer, Law & Order.
Bed.
Friday, May 28, 1999
Up 6:30. Breakfast, shower. Walked cliff.
Met Carole. S out of jail, on parole? Working at Walmart. R married to deaf Canadian. French parents here. Sign in French, no English.
Lunch at KFC, then home for tea.
To show, “Notting Hill.” Good, fun.
To library, email from H, answered. Also sent email to Justine re S/R.
Saturday, May 29, 1999
Up 6:30, usual breakfast. Changed bed, did crossword.
To Watsonville, looked for Target. Got gasoline first.
Looked in Kmart for bra, none.
Ate Wendy’s door locked. Finally someone with key.
Found Target, no bra.
To Ross, found one 34D. Checked Sears, none.
Tomorrow look at Ross here.
Home 3:30, Mina on machine. Called back, talked 3/4 hour.
Mail: Letter from Mimi.
Ate tuna, cookies, tea.
Slept 8-2, did crossword. Ate hot cereal.
Sunday, May 30, 1999
Slept 3-8:30. Breakfast, tea & muffin.
Ironed skirts and slacks.
TV: Tennis, Graf won, Venus Williams lost, Agassi won.
To library, looked for Prudence Cummings Wright, talked to man from SF.
To Ross, two more 34Ds. Home, called Prudy. She liked Bali. I send one cheap, she sending spoons.
Monday, May 31, 1999
Uo 7. Breakfast here.
To laundromat. Quite a few Early Birds.
To Longs for Xerox. Albertsons, got Clorox.
To McDonald’s.
Home, pulled some weeds. Gardener here! Grass is short.
Tired.
TV: Law & Order from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m.
To RiteAid for cookies, candy.
Wrote Justine, got package ready for Prudy.
Bed 10, no sleep til 11.
More on these entries: I
found a bag full of small Mead notebooks after my grandmother died,
only learning then that for decades my grandmother wrote down every day when
she woke, what she ate, what movie she went to see, any mail and calls
she received, then what she read and watched on TV before bed. I find the details of her days fascinating, fun and very soothing to read.
More on my grandmother: Though she never lived with another person or even a pet when I knew her, I also never knew her to be lonely. She was an extremely independent
woman who did not marry my grandfather when she became pregnant in
1943, and instead raised my mother on her own in 1950s Los Angeles. (I wrote more about her life in this post)
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